5 Food Products too Messed Up to Be Real

5. Quezo Real Ice Cream


Have you ever dared to your saturate your senses with a straight-up spoonful of the dry orange powder that comes with Kraft Macaroni & Cheese? As far as the spectrum of extreme cheese flavor goes, it's like staring at the sun with your mouth. Now imagine someone stirred that powder into an ice cream base with real cheddar chunk mix-ins, and you've got Quezo Real. Available in P220 and P285.

4. Pepsi WHITE (Pepsi and Yogurt Flavor)


Forget the clear soda fad of the 80s, cloudy soda is where it's at. If you've ever sneaked a taste of the opacity-tinged water left over from rinsing out a milk carton, you know what's up with Pepsi WHITE. Enjoy the clean finish of Pepsi with the probiotic tang of bacteria-cultured mammalian discharge.

3. LeWhif (Whiffable Chocolate Powder)


We all know about chocoholics, but what about the hardcore cocoaheads who prefer to inhale their fix? Fear not, for LeWhif has you covered. Treat your lungs' tastebuds to a blast of chocolately goodness in three different flavors. For an extra  rush, try snorting it!

2. Imitation Hard Boiled Egg Infinity Loaf


You know when you need like 93 boiled egg disks in 30 seconds? Me neither, but that doesn't mean you can't appreciate the convenience of this handy imitation egg loaf. Each log is engineered to multiply your width-to-length egg ratio, yielding maximum egg slice output. It's like when you beat a card game in Microsoft Windows, except with egg!



1. Whale Bacon


Tell Greenpeace to shove off by frying up some neon pink-rimmed blubber shavings for breakfast. When you think about it, we have a moral obligation to kill whales. After all, most people are willing to accept the necessity of sacrificing one life in order to save billions, yet a single whale murders that many krill in a day. Enjoy whale bacon by itself or use it to add flavor to your favorite pizza, sandwich, or whale. Dolphin free.
Uploaded 05/21/2012
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