A bleat from the grave

The following is a completely true story....


My friend Fred and his family keep goats, lots of goats.  Weird looking eyes, poop that looks like large raisins, large smelly goats.

A couple of summers ago, his wife infomed him that one of the goats died, and he had to bury it.  Fred works in the construction industry, and summers are his busiest time, so it was difficult for him to make time to dig the requisite hole.

Finally, Fred was able to make some time one morning to have a goat funeral.  As the goat had been lying in the sun (summertime, remember?) for 3 or 4 days, he was hesitant to drag it very far from where it fell, so he and an employee (we'll call him Ethan) started to dig right next to the dead goat.  It was a fairly large goat, and the ground was kinda rocky, so instead of digging a proper, deep hole, they decided to dig a hole just large enough to accomodate the goat's body, and then dig two smaller deep holes for the legs.  Seems reasonable, right?

Finally they lowered the goat into the custom-dug grave.  It didn't fit.  Not quite.  It stuck up just a little, so Ethan said "I'll just jump on it a little."  Again, seems reasonable.

When Ethan landed on the 4-day dead goat's back, the gasses that had formed in its lungs were squeezed out causing the 4-day dead goat to emit one last, loud BLAAA-AAA-AAA.  No one spoke a word.  Ethan was terrified, as were Fred, his wife, and his 4 young children.  Ethan started backpedaling as fast as he could, while Fred tried to comfort his kids.  Cooler heads soon prevailed and the goat was interred with no further incident.

No one will ever forget, however.  Ever.


That's the best dead goat story I know.

Uploaded 11/03/2008
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