A Hate Blog for Big Bad

Got cocky there, didn't you? So, here's the reasons I'm not taken in by your "wit and charm," so-called "popular guy."


1 You're  Canadian. Enough said.

2 I'm not enamored nor convinced of your hatred of John Stamos. I actually have enjoyed his work at times, even if Full House sucked (at least it gave us that anorexic wet dream, the Olsen Twins). Have you seen his work on ER? Okay, he's no Olivier (hell, he's not even a Clooney) but this so-called bile you spill toward him is ridiculous. I smell bromance/man crush.

3 Your avatar reminds me of those overtly Eastern-European Communist depictions of Obama that are prevalent in my neighborhood. At least they'll disappear once people realize they only voted for him because of what I like to call "The Ford/Carter effect." People were so rabidly anti-Republican during a recession they blamed on a crooked White House that they elected an eloquent, if underqualified,president. Sound familiar? Oh well. What do you know, anyway, Canuck?

4 Did I mention he's Canadian?

5 Your name is clearly taken from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which, under normal circumstances, would make me like you (that show was funny). Yet your generally unpleasant Canadianess thwarts the subliminal efforts of such trickery. I even wonder if you your choice of said name is intended to lul us to a gentle relaxedness so you may then corrupt us with your Canadian culture, like that shit you call "Bacon" or Molson Beer. After the Russians thwarted your attempts at coercing us via the NHL, now you resort to co-opting our own popular culture? For shame, Big Bad!

6 I don't like the word, "zing."

7 I mentioned he's Canadian, right?

8 Probably French Canadian. Double Commie Pinko. Seriously, I read somewhere recently (AWFULJACKASS I think it was you) someone said we should look at the great French system for guidance. To what, racial disharmony, socialist restrictions on working hours (truck drivers here can only drive 70 hours--more or less--per week; Frenchies aren't allowed more than 35. WTF?) or is there something I'm missing? Unwashed hairy women? Ridiculously fattening rolls shaped like boomerangs (yet incapable of sustained flight, much to my chagrin)? Add in the Canadian 10 months of winter, and I figure Big Bad must be one stinky dude. Oh, wait.

9 You probably smell.

10 Did I mention he's Canadian?

11 In light of Bo's recent blog about devil worshippers, can we really tolerate people with screen names that conjure images of the devil (ie Big BAD)? Remember, because two faggots in Colorado shot up their school, nobody was allowed to wear trench coats anymore, because obviously that would be honoring the dead evil people. And the NFL won't allow the name "Carruth" on any custom jersey, because of Rae Carruth, who contracted the death of his pregnant girlfriend. So, obviously, anyone who wants a Carruth jersey (even if that's their name) is trying to idolize this scum. Oh, you can still buy a Michael Vick jersey though. Because one thing the SPCA has right is animals don't count as people. Even dozens of them don't add up to one human. Good for him he didn't invest in UFC.

12 Canucky-wucky too short fucky.

13 (Left blank due to superstitious beliefs).

14 I don't like Spam.

15 This bird is deceased.

16 Canuck.

17 You don't ask for directions.

18 You tortured your daughter by taking her away from TOYS! YOU HEARTLESS CRUEL BASTARD YOU SHOULD BE SHOT! How any parent can deny their child every frivolous bullshit thing they want is beyond my comprehension. It's your job as a parent to cave into any and all demands and slave to make sure their noses don't stay wet for more than two seconds. Damn. Canuck Social Services ought ot be contacted!

19 Those guys from Second City TV were funny, so maybe I don't hate all Canadians. In fact, I've been to Canadia and it seemed pretty nice. I almost did get shot by American Border Patrol returning once--and then there was the time I was detained for an hour just because I forgot to call ahead to the broker to clear the load of dog food--yeah, DOG FOOD-- and they figured I must be a anti-commie Canuck-hating terrorist. Well, call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

20 Damn Canucks.

Uploaded 05/24/2009
  • 0 Favorites
  • Flag
  • Stumble
  • Pin It