This one time I was collecting stones in a forest and a gaggle of morbidly obese elderly handicapped midgets jumped out from behind a grove of trees and started trying to steal my shoe strings. I pushed and kicked and screamed and they wouldn't stop trying to steal my shoe strings. So I kicked my shoes right off my feet and started to run. That's when I tripped over stump and fell face first into a pile of deer excrement. Some business men appeared out of nowhere and started laughing at me. They surrounded me in a large circle and poked me with pencils. It was humiliating.