Accidental Transsexual from Gay Dog Influences

Whilst watching my next-door neighbours gay dog hump a bag of sand, I had an incredible urge to punch my elderly granny square in the face as hard as I could. Once I had done this, I felt better, but I still felt like I had an 'itch that needed to be scratched.' So I poured milk all over my kitchen table - it didn't work. I yelled at a book of carpet samples - it didn't work... What was it that I needed to satisfy my urges? Then, I looked at my neighbours gay dog again, named Winston, who was now sticking the pointy hat of my neighbours garden gnome up it's ass by sitting on it's head. At this mere sight, I realised what the problem was... I needed to get laid. So, I grew a beard and went to a dogging site disguised as a lonely hobo. Once I saw all of these hot teen couples engaging in all kinds of depraved sexual acts, I couldn't contain my sexual urges any more. So, I went over to a Land Rover and placed my balls on the wind shield, but to my horror, it began to rain at that very moment and the quadriplegic Transsexual inside the vehicle turned on the wind shield wipers. This caused my ball sack flesh to rip, thus making my gonads hang out like two bloody, red grapes. I ran deeper into the forest and came across a barn. Inside the barn was a hot, young cow which caught my attention. My raging boner from the sight I saw earlier in my quest to get laid wouldn't go down, and had to get used, so I fucked the cow deep in it's fly-infested prolapsed anus. The next day, my pork sword and balls we're now a pulsating and stinking clump of rotting meat between my legs. At the doctors, I was told that I had severe gangrene of my twig and berries and they had to be removed. I now have a fleshy patch with a hole in the middle, where my manhood used to be. On the upside, I have struck up a 'lesbian' relationship with Erica, the quadriplegic Transsexual, whom I met at the dogging site. She came to give me my ball sack skin that she retrieved from her wind shield wiper. I got surgeons to use the skin to make a make-shift labia for my tight cootie. Now all I need is a decent pair of tits and longer hair, instead of the basin cut that I have now. Erica and I now live in a one-bedroom flat overlooking some lovely burnt out cars and some weeds. At least I no longer have my neighbour's gay dog acting as a bad influence on me...
Uploaded 09/26/2011
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