"It never hurts to advertise," I said, as I placed the napkin down on the table and put my malt glass on top of it. On the napkin was a hastily scrawled "8-inch penis" and an arrow pointing to the seat I was in.

Sure, the waitress wasn't hot, and had terrible teeth, but like any guy, I'm always up for something new. And besides, it never does hurt to advertise, does it?

I finished my burger, paid my bill, and looked towards my table, eager to see her reaction. After all, I had been charming her throughout my dining experienc. My heart beats quickened as she began picking up the plates, she would see the napkin any minute and....wait....that's not her, thats the fat retard busboy with the unibrow! Dammit!

He glances at it, laughs, and throws it in his trash bag.

So, where do I currently stand? Let's see:

1. Waitress no longer has access to my penis-related information.

2. Bus-Boy knows more about me than I would ever want him to know.

I guess sometimes, well, it really does hurt to advertise.