When I first left my parents' house, I ended up in the big city. I had tuition to pay, rent to pay, groceries to pay for, and no job lined up. It was rough for a little bit.

So I took the first job I could. Hell, I wasn't picky. I had bills to pay.

I ended up in a shoe store. Oh boy.

Now, being a big city, we get a lot of different people there. And frankly, it's pretty damn easy to notice some trends on average:

-Mexicans are the loudest, and on average they mess up the shoe department the most.

-Out of ALL the people who buy shoes from me, the nicest, kindest, and cleanest on average are black people. Go figure.

-Indian guys are the most picky about their shoes. Any defect, no matter how small, and they want at least 20 dollars taken off the shoes.


Now keep in mind, this is only about 50 percent of the time. None of these groups are very consistent.

Only one.

Women. With size 10 feet.

These women come into my department, all bitter because they wear size 10, and go around throwing fits. Then they grab about 30 pairs of size 10 shoes (they feel this is a hard-to-find size) and then leave them in a pile that takes me about a half hour to clean up. Every goddamn time.

Yea, George W. Wasn't the only guy gettin' shoes thrown at him.


So first off, let's think about this. Size ten. Let me ask the guys first. Have you ever noticed a girl's shoe size? How big are your wife's feet? Trust me, you don't know. You're too busy staring at her tits. It happens.

Now I'll ask the ladies. Ever notice in the bathroom how big your girlfriend's feet are? Of course not. You're too busy smoking tampons or playing cards or whatever it is you do in there for hours.


So. We have it covered. No one gives a single shit about how big a woman's shoe is.


Now, when every other woman grabs maybe one or two pairs of shoes, they'll grab 30. Why? Cause size 10 is hard to find, dontcha know!

Well, do I have a surprise for you. It's not. At all. Out of the 300+ women's shoes I sell, every. single. one of them. comes in size 10. Not hard to find. And hell, if we don't have any, I can get you one. Free of charge. Just wait three days. It's not like this is hard, or anything.


So here I am, thinking about the spawn of Satan that is Women with Size 10, and ya know, the more I think, the more the pieces fit together:

- My perpetually-bitchy boss wears size 10.
- My perpetually-bitchy mother wears size 10.
- According to the internet, Sigourney Weaver wears a size 10.

See a pattern? I sure do. So please, guys, next time you're on a date with a girl, make sure the first thing outta your mouth is "Hey baby, you don't fit into a size 10, do ya?"