All I ever needed to know I learned from reading comic books. Think I'm joking? Sure, there are people who make fun of the geeks, nerds, and brainiacs who follow them, but there's a lot to be learned about life from someone you can look up to.

Take for example the popular movie V for Vendetta that's been getting a lot of cable time lately. An individual who has little regard for the political process weasels his way into the highest office in the nation. He then allows the deaths of thousands of individuals due to a terrorist action, and he uses the momentum from that event to launch his own political agenda for his own personal gain. Sound familiar? Well the movie was not written in response to the current political climate. In fact, the comic book the movie was based on was released by Alan Moore at least five years prior to the election of George W. Bush. Shame more people weren't taking lessons from the comic books to heart.

But let's not focus on one small historical blunder. There's lot's more to learn. How about the lesson “You don't get to choose who needs your help.” Stan Lee created the X-men, but it wasn't until Chris Claremont took over the project it took on new dimensions. They became a band of “outlaw heroes” who didn't ask to be given power, but were being persecuted for being above average. Still, they understood that humanity needed their help. That people needed their assistance. That they couldn't force themselves on others, but even if someone disliked you that you couldn't just turn your back on them when they needed you.

Before the movie that was reluctant to use the comic's title, there was Hellblazer. In that comic book, John Constantine (the character the movie was named after) found the hard way that “You don't get to choose your gifts, but you'd better choose the right things to do with them.” Time and again, this poor guy squanders the good things that come to him in an ongoing streak of self loathing. Talk about teaching by bad example. But the message is still clear.

Poor Peter Parker has learned time and again that “When people need you, they come first, your desires come second.” Good ol' Spiderman has been saving New York for generations now. How many times did he have to put romance or job satisfaction on the back burner? Often it seemed that the universe itself just wouldn't let him catch a break, but he knew in the end that looking out for others was the right thing to do.

The next lesson comes from the “Dark Knight”, Batman. He shows us all “You don't need to have super powers to be a super hero.” Now, I'm not talking about all of the schlocky Movie and Television versions, but the comic book version of the hero. Batman doesn't have bones of steel, super-strength, laser eyes, or anything else. All he has is the fashion version of a Swiss army knife and his wits. And that's all he needs. He's just a guy trying to do the right thing.

The tough guys in Frank Miller's Sin City teach us “A good man always gets back up.” Marv, Dwight, and Hartigan show that when you're fighting the good fight you can't just lie down and give up when the villain gives you a knockout punch. You have to keep getting up again and again until either the job is done or you are. Sometimes the bad guy wins, but you should never let him win while you're on your back.

The boy in blue, Superman, proves to us “Even if you're amazing, you can still be a dick.” At Superdickery they have taken this lesson to heart. Here's a guy that despite the fact that he is so far above us humans, he can still find the time to look dawn his nose at us. It makes the Superman speech from “Kill Bill” all the more poignant. The fact that Superman goes back and forth from being a dick to being a stand up guy only proves that dicks are often two-faced.

Of course there's a lot more, but it's fun to discover it on your own. You could pick up any of the books I mentioned and find a lot of lessons in them. You can go the traditional route and just snag the comics from news-stands or you can look for some of the more obscure but thoroughly worthy works like Slow News Day, Mail Order Bride, or Sparks, which is one of the most sadly beautiful comics ever penned. There are heroes from the big publishing companies like Wonder Woman, but there are also lesser known heroes like the witch Courtney Crumrin who are just as worthy of praise, if not more so. And now that you know, if you ever see me looking through a comic book and someone nearby says snidely: “Aren't you a little old for that, dude?”; you'll know the secret and you can just give me a smile.