every year a friend of mine holds a halloween party at his parents house. they have a pretty big backyard so its not uncommon for 100 to 150 people to attend. its always adult themed so you can always count on guys dressed liek girls, girls dressed like guys, somebody getting drunk and winding up naked on the roof, and the ever present 7 foot tall inflatable penis. good times.

this year was no different, the day of the party was pretty busy for me and i was left with little time to get a costume.  being the ever ingenuitive fellow i am i got myself a trench coat, sunglasses, and borrowed the gag gift squirting dildo i had bought for my wife on her last birthday. put them all together and viola! you got yourself a bus stop flasher. now this dildo is very realistic, and veiny. in fact, its so realistic that at first glance youd probably think its the real thing. it comes complete with a tube running through it to the tip and a reservoir and pump to make it blow its load.

i spent a good part of the evening filling it with beer and talking loose ladies onto their knees to take it like a beer bong. however, my night soon took a turn for the worse. you see, theirs only one way to refill the reservoir on this magnificent party tool when it becomes tapped. you have to take a cup of whatever liquid youre filling it with, stick the head into said cup, and hit the pump to fill the reservoir. sounds simple enough right? wrong, as with anything else in my life, things always take a turn for the worse.

by the time i had to refill my beer delivery device, i was rather buzzed. being the lazy bastard i am, i didnt want to pull the dildo out of the zipper of my pants to refill it. so there i was, standing by the back door of the house with what looked like my cock in someones beer, when my friends mom came out to refill the chip bowl. she looked down and immediately screamed and dropped the chips, all i could manage to stammer out was "this isnt what it looks like!". as she screamed people came running only to find me with my 'cock' in someones beer and my friends mom freaked out and near tears. yeah, that was fun to explain. fuck my life...