And now, a word from your president...

I'd like to start this blog with some apologies.  As your elected blog section president, I have let all of you down, and for that I am truly sorry.  It was my sworn duty to uphold the ideals and standards of the blog section, and during my months-long alcoholic bender-did I say bender?  I meant hiatus.  During my months-long hiatus, I neglected to perform the necessary functions to maintain the blog section, and as a result it has fallen into severe decay.

I apologize for misspending blog section funding.  In my carelessness, I failed to pay the blog section security (here's your nod, Deunan), the result of which has been the influx of miscreants and undesirables that have lowered the overall quality of blogging for everyone, and for that I am truly sorry.

I apologize for registering you all to be in the Army reserve.  Believe me when I say that I thought I was signing you all up for a free vacation.  Alcohol may or may not have been involved, but know that I had all of your best interests in mind when I signed what I thought to be a mailing list to receive free vouchers for plane tickets and hotel rooms.  Unfortunately you will all be expected to report for active duty at 0600 next Saturday morning, and for that I am truly sorry.

I apologize for losing Milestyles55.  During one of my alcoholic benders-damnit, I keep saying that word!  Hiatus!  While I was on HIATUS, we found ourselves in a particularly seedy bar in what I'm guessing was not actually part of the continental U.S.  He was right next to me the entire night, but when I woke up in the back seat of a Lincoln town car that was crossing the Mexican border back into the U.S. he was gone, and for that I am truly sorry.  Also, I should mention a reward has been posted for Milestyles55's safe return.

And lastly, I apologize for anything I may have said or done while on "hiatus," that caused offense or otherwise sowed discontent among you, the bloggers of eBaumsWorld.  Specifically, the air tax that I promised I would veto.  Don't know how that one slipped by me.  I even told my secretary not to let me sign that one in a drunken stupor, but apparently I said some things...made some "threats"...and now there's a pending know, it's not really important.  What's important is, I am truly sorry.

For all of it.

I love you all.  Now come say hi to me, even if we didn't get along before.
Uploaded 02/02/2013
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