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Ants in my pants

So today, I went with my family to a pumpkin patch/corn maze, festival thing. My nephew, who's 17, my niece, who's 6, my brother, his wife, and my sister, plus my brothers dad and his wife (they met us there) all went. After lunch in oak glen (an apple orchard village), we every one, but my brother's dad and his wife, pile into my brother's truck.

 

Now, this is a tight fit. Three adults in the front, the kids in the back, my niece in her car seat in the middle. Half way down the high way of the mountain, I feel something on my arm.

 

It's a god damn fukin red ant.

 

I hate ants. Like Indiana Jones hates snakes!

 

I quickly smash it only to find another on my chest, and another on my stomach, all the while screaming there's red ants, pull the fuck over, there's red ants! Smacking myself to kill the huge fucker. I try to think of what would cause them to get in the truck. Then I remember my nephew, Timmy, had set the car seat in the dirt. In a red ant pile.

 

So my brother finally pulls over, I bail as soon as he opens his door (cause its that stupid half door thing), and run over to the back of the truck. Then I feel it. Ones on my leg, and it's crawling up my calf, so I smack it. Oh my fukin god, have I forgotten how bad the sting and burning of the bites are. In a panic, I rip my pants off, trying to save myself from anymore bites.

 

Let me just clear this up. Im on the side of a busy highway, in my underwear, cars passing by with little kids, little sick kids (it was the cancer day), and I'm jumping up and down cursing, hitting myself.

 

My brother takes care of the ants, and I was the only one bit, so after a stop at right aid to get some bite relief, we drive home, me still in my panties, with a blanket to cover myself. I just thank god that there where no neighbors out when I got out of the truck at my brother's.

 

Just my sister. Armed with a camera.

 

http://s119.photobucket.com/albums/o147/afflictionismyaddiction/?action=view&current=IMG_2717.jpg

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Tags: ants pants bites

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