At the hospital... cont'

Seeing our baby inside Lard only answered a few of our questions, and only gave us a little piece of mind.  We knew that he was ok, and that he was a boy.

But we were still both excited and scared, because we had no idea how he got there.... for all we knew, Lard could have somehow swallowed a premature baby that wasn't ours.

A quick DNA test could clear up the parental issues, but it wouldn't solve our biggest problem.

Until I went inside, Lard's doctor was as confused as we were.  Lard and our unborn baby were on constant observation.  We had a team of doctors and nurses, all trying to figure it out.

Yesterday we got a phone call from one of our doctors.  He said that he had made a miraculous discovery that could explain how lard got pregnant.   Of course we were very eager to find out so we immediately headed to his office to have a meeting.

When we got there, our doctor greeted us with a smile, and thanked us for coming in.

Doc:  Thanks for coming in on such short notice... I realize that it can't be easy getting Lard here.
Lard: We have a system......
Doc: Well, I needed to talk to you in person, I have something to show you.
Me:  Great, hopefully you have some good news.

With that he turned his computer monitor around, so we could both see it.  It was on youtube...
I gave the doctor a dirty look, he reassured me and told us to "just watch it.... I think this is what happened.... you mentioned that you had been inside Lard's stomach before... we'll have to do more tests, but this is the closest explanation I can think of"

He pushed play, and we both watched in amazement.

The doctor explained that I was the one who was pregnant initially, and while I was in Lard's stomach the first time, I may have been scared (by the jeans) into giving birth to an embryo.... like the bunny in that video.   He also explained that it was a good thing.    "When I saw the camera footage you took, I realized that this was a huge baby.  If you were to carry it yourself, it would have been like carrying sextuplets, which would have threatened both your life, and life of your unborn child". 

We later took pregnancy tests, that showed a residual amount of pregnancy hormones in me that confirmed that I was once pregnant, but wasn't anymore.

Our next biggest concern was the baby's health, being inside Lard's stomach.  The doctor said that I wasn't far along at all at the time I "gave birth" so instead of attaching it's self to the inner lining of my uterus, he attached himself to the lining in Lard's stomach.   Due to what Lard eats on a regular basis, and the increased acidity in his stomach acid needed to digest everything, his stomach in turn had to increase the amount of protective mucus that protected his stomach from his juices digesting his insides.  Our baby, is now also protected by that same mucus, since he was attached to Lard's skin. 

Apparently, as long as lard doesn't eat any sharp inanimate objects,  the baby will stay safe in his stomach until it's full term... (we're going by duration - not development).  In addition, our baby will share the same awesome immunities as Lard has.

"A true miracle" the doctor called it.  If any of the circumstances were any different we would have lost the baby.  

I guess the jeans did do some good.
Uploaded 08/04/2011
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