Awesome Tips To Get Around Easier

I decided to share some of my smart ways of solving stuff the easy way. Remember that some of these require skill and wits. If you're stupid, you best not try these out.

Getting more fun time

It's easy if you set it up nicely. You can stay up to like 5 or 6 am and then sleep at school. The classes are usually boring. You need to be sure that you sit next to your friend that's going to wake you up and repeat what the teacher said as soon as you wake up. When these dumb asses notice you sleeping at their class, they usually go for the classic "could you repeat what I said?"

Pros: you don't have to flunk school and spend time at class doing something you like, you don't have to go to sleep early

Cons: none

Having others take care of your kid for free

If you know a gay couple that would like to adopt some day, it's a nice way to ask them to babysit. While you go out, they'll not only take care of the baby for free, they'll be flattered you trusted them with your kid. Everyone wins.

Another nice idea is if you have a straight male cousin/friend and they want to go pick up chicks with the old "I'm taking care of my cousin's baby" trick. The cousin goes out to the park and takes your kid with him. Girls see him as a nice guy that knows how to take care of babies, and the kid is having fun, too.

Pros: others are taking care of your baby for free

Cons: they might give the kid a lot of sweets even though they shouldn't and you told them that

It's not cheating if they don't find out

Be sure to only go for quick romance and preferably when you're on a trip out of town.

Pros: your boyfriend won't find out

Cons: you'll have to buy a separate cell phone you only use for dating out of your relationship

Taking pills on a party without the risk of getting caught

Dissolve some E in mineral water and take the bottle with you to the party.

Pros: they won't see you taking pills

Cons: none

Forcing your boyfriend to take cooking class

Sign up for cooking class for both you and your boyfriend. Go there once or twice. Then whenever there's the cooking class, say you have to take care of our kid and nobody's available to babysit. Or that you have some extra shit you have to study for. The important part is to say something like "be sure to learn for the both of us and cook it when you come back. I'm so lucky to have a talented chef like you." At some point you'll say you're too far behind and it's pointless to take the class, but he's too talented to quit.

Pros: you don't have to cook, you have your boyfriend do it for you

Cons: none

Don't have to explain why you don't want a dog

Play your child some movies where dogs hurt or even kill people and then explain that dogs are unpredictable and could come to their owners at night and bite their throats open. The Green Mile is a nice pick. Basically give the kid a trauma. Cats are the way to go and they are basically harmless.

Pros: your child won't ask for a puppy

Cons: none

Don't exercise and still be slim

I mentioned this trick many times. Almost NEVER use an elevator. Take the stairs instead. That's some nice exercise and you don't have to go to the gym and sweat at the treadmill for your legs to look hot.

Pros: easy and you don't have to work out

Cons: you might sweat or your legs might hurt if it's many floors you have to go through

Skip every swimming pool P.E. class

If you don't want to be swimming during P.E. because there's piss and body dirt in the water, you can't like use that as the argument. It's best to schedule a visit with a psychologist and talk about your fear of water. Get them to write you a slip that you have aquaphobia. Know that aquaphobia and hydrophobia are two different things. While hydrophobia is the fear of water, aquaphobia is a state of mind that prevents you from swimming.

Pros: no need to swim in piss

Cons: you'll have to convince the psychologist that you fear water

Uploaded 10/07/2012
  • 2 Favorites
  • Stumble
  • Pin It
Tags: neko blog