Yeah I've been writing a lot, mostly about work and how my life is miserable because I don't have work.

Recently, for no real reason I decided to be a little more optimistic about my future, and even my current situation.  I know it could be a lot worse, but I lost touch with what I should be thankful for.   I figure, there's a way, you just have to find it.  If you are willing to work hard, and do what you have to do, like I am, things can get better.  There's no guarantee, but a chance is possibility.

Now, things are going to get a little "hippy" if you don't mind.  I believe in something called the law of attraction.  I know there is some sort of force out there that many people refer to as spirituality and even God.  I don't.. I just know that I've experienced strange things - both good and bad, that really have no scientific explanation.  I've felt what people call life force energy, and by doing so, I basically overcome the majority of my clinical depression.  Yeah, I was depressed for no reason, and doing the "in with the good, and out with the bad" actually helped... a lot... amongst other things like meditation, and connecting myself with nature - "spiritually".   

See, the day after I stopped moping around the house, and wrote my blog about how I was feeling better (,  I got my first EI check.   I really wasn't expecting to be accepted for unemployment benefits.  I got 2 checks... they were backed up.  Did I subconsciously predict what was going to happen, and that made me feel better? Or did the sudden positive energy bring about positive happenings?  It was just too strange to conclude coincidence.    It was weird... like it was holding off until I smartened up.   When I didn't think it was going to happen, even though it was supposed to,  it didn't happen.  When I stopped thinking that, and basically took a "doesn't matter if it does" approach, it happened. Almost instantly.

There's this saying, and it's true... maybe you've experienced it.    It goes like "Money is drawn to money".  Like, when you have no money, it's hard to find it, but when you have money, it just falls in your lap.  Like I would go weeks without any work, waiting for a GST check to come in to help.  Suddenly I'd find work, and then I'd get that check days later, when I didn't need it.  It happens quite a bit with me.  Kinda like the opposite of "Bad things happen in 3's".... which I also believe.  I believe that this is because, we experience what we expect.  If we change our expectations, life changes with it.  You're down and out about not having cash, you won't have cash.  If you have cash, and are in that mind set (not worrying about not having money) you get more... money just ... happens.

In addition to this turn of events, my dad called me yesterday with more amazing news.  (Only a day after I started being optimistic about being trained and gaining certifications for things) A while ago my dad said that he would teach me how to weld in his free time.  He didn't want me to become a welder, and because of that, he wasn't too enthusiastic about teaching me.  He also mentioned the transportation issue, and time constraints.    It was beginning to deter me as another dead end.  I was thinking, I would go in a couple times, learn a bit, but still not be qualified. Not true. When I started thinking about what it would be like to be a welder, and making more money, and working towards my future,  my dad called and told me that one of his employees is going to teach me how to weld during the next few months before winter work.   I met the guy on the last job site we were on, and he seemed pretty nice and like he knew what he was doing.   My dad is the best in the business, but I'm sure his apprentices are good too.... just like I will be.   My dad also told me about an apprenticeship program, certifications for not only welding, but fall protection, confined space entry, and WHMIS.  Unbeknown to me - they offer all of those courses and certifications in-house.   My dad also told me about jobs opening up in the winter, and how to get them.   Also unbeknown to me, everyone on that job site basically talked my dad into giving me this chance.    They know I'm a good worker, and unlike the offspring of other administrators there, I didn't use my dad's position as leverage.  All it did was get me a job... which is what most of the guys did to.  This is a business where you really need to know someone outside of work, to get in.  They saw me lugging around 100lbs of welding cable, setting up jobs, and cleaning, all while doing my job without falling asleep (which is tons more than can be said about previous people with that position - hell that's why I got it).   They saw my dad's work ethic in me, much better than my dad did.  Which is also strange. Even with being optimistic, I thought that my only real chance on getting where I wanted to be, is if someone with the resources saw potential in me.  My resume isn't much... and on every single one of my cover letters I conclude with this statement "What I lack in experience, I make up for in work ethic, ability to learn quickly, and eagerness to succeed."  No lie.  It worked... just not exactly the way I thought it would.  I pictured what it was like when I worked in the warehouse with my boyfriend... my supervisor saw potential in me, gave me a chance to advance, and I ran with it.  It was an awesome feeling of superiority, that I plan to obtain again. (Fuck it.. I have it)

So, instead of being tank watch this winter, I think I'm going to be a welder - making almost twice as much as I would have.  All of this experience I will gain, will also give my resume just what it needs to be pushed over that herdle of "one in a million", to "certified and qualified"  I'm really excited!    I LOVE THE WORK SETTING!!!!   Being on the boats, although very industrial, and against most of my beliefs on preserving nature, just highly interests me.  I don't know what it is exactly.. I think it's a combination of a lot.  It's not a factory job where production is a monotonous, repetitive, and dead end.  On the boats, it's totally different.  You're fixing huge cargo ships... you're a huge part of a million dollar contract.  If what you do, is wrong, people can die.  Your whole position is held at a much higher importance, even as an entry level rookie.  No one's standing there with a stop watch, seeing how long it takes you to make a part.

It's all around the complete opposite of factory work, without working in an office... which can be like factory work.

 The day I walk in there for my first real lesson, will be beginning to the rest of my life.  I will excel. There is no doubt in my mind, that I am going to make my dad proud, and carry on his real legacy.  See, everyone knows my dad.   He worked his way up the ranks, and met quite a few people who have nothing but great things to say about him.  "He's one heck of a welder that guy"  "Your dad is a damn hard worker"... and he is.  I don't know of too many other supervisors who will work through breaks, doing the same things his employees do - just better, faster, and with more knowledge. Hell, for the past 15 years companies have been competing for his employment... his.. yeah... real meetings about who's going to be able to offer him enough.   *jealous!*

This has been a complete turn around from even last week.  I felt so hopeless.  I was going to become a drug producer (I still might for fun), or end up on welfare. I just thought i was running out of options quickly.   I was beginning to believe that becoming a stay at home mom, was all there was for me.  Don't get me wrong. Stay at home mothers are amazing people who work very hard... it's just not what I really want for myself.    I'm too much of a tom boy I guess.  Now, I found a brand new hallway of doors opening up to a bright tomorrow... I truely believe that it wouldn't of happened had I not been positive.  If I were still being all pissy, and frustrated about life, I wouldn't of got that phone call. I wouldn't of been accepted into EI...  say "bullshit" if you want to, but I really do think that my positive energy brought about these things.  It wasn't just outlook... I didn't just look for the shitty parts of every situation, and thus had a shitty experience...  I can't explain why I had a sudden change of heart, or why nothing but good things have happened since.   I had every reason to be worried, frustrated, and to feel hopeless.. it's not like I didn't try anything because I was negative... I do think they didn't work out because of it.

Positive energy is powerful, but not as powerful as negative energy.  Negative energy is easier to find and experience. It's our first and natural response to crappy shit.  You hear about people with terminal cancer living out their remaining days with a positive outlook, and how that sends a wave of positive energy out to anyone near them, and how the terminally ill who are miserable do the opposite effect.   Call it whatever you want... it works... and by not believing, it's not going to work for you.  It doesn't have to be God, or religious in any way. I'm not, but I still feel energy, still use it, and still benefit and lose from it.

How you may say? Well, you're already doing it.  If you don't believe it will help, it won't. That's how it works.  You have to TRULY believe that not only will things get better, that they ARE better.  If you believe things WILL get better, you will always be chasing that.  If you look on the shitty side of everything, that is exactly what you'll experience.  If you look to the positive, you'll find more positivity.  And it's not just about what's already there... with practice, understanding, and belief, you can use energy to have direct effects on your future.  It's one of those things you have to experience.  You might think I'm crazy... and there's a lot of crazy people and opinions when it comes to things like this... it's just something you have to see to believe.  Giver a shot, you might be surprised.  Please keep in mind... things don't just materialize out of thin air... like you picture yourself eating ice cream, and then all of a sudden a floating cone presents it's self like the dagger in Macbeth.... you'll still have to work for it... but the ideas and opportunities do present themselves out of thin air.   For example, and this was used in "The Secret" (I knew about this long before this book and movie came out), an author wanted to get his book known.  He had no idea how to get there.  Everything he tried, which was by the books, failed miserably.  He had every reason to give up... but he didn't.  He started picturing what it would be like to be an established author with a well marketed book, and he pictured it like it had already happened.  He was in the shower when the idea hit him.  Charge 25 cents per copy.  More people will buy, more people will know about it, word will get out.  A few months later he had over a million in sales. 

I also watch that show "Lottery changed my life"... or whatever it is.  There's a couple of examples of people who assumed they were going to win... fuck... they had already won in their eyes, and they did.  One guy told all of his friends that he was going to win a house in a sweepstakes. He told them what "his new home" was like, and he won it.  He was also a bit crazy in the eyes of most... he worships squirrels as a good luck token.... he's rather obsessive about them... but he believed that they brought luck, and to him, they did.

Call me crazy... but hell, there's far too many examples.  Einstein even believed in it.... and he was one of, if not the, most brilliant scientific minds ever.... hell some would say it was the law of attraction that brought about his almost paranormal genius.

Uploaded 10/20/2010
  • 0 Favorites
  • Flag
  • Stumble
  • Pin It