For all the people out there who think they are having a bad day let me tell you about some guy my mom told me about.
My mom volunteers at one of those crisis pregnancy centers run by the church. As a result she gets to hear the sob stories of girls who are pregnant and fear an abortion is blasphemy and a one way ticket to hell. That issue aside, on with my story.
So this 22 year old girl comes into the center today and begins telling my mom this story about her boyfriend over the weekend. So it starts out her boyfriend wants to go out to the strip club with his buddies, but with his girlfriend taking the only car to work he couldnt drive. So he gets the brilliant idea he is going to hop on his bike and take a ride there. Now all you guys out there know when you are in a relationship with a girl the strip club is off limits and if you lie about it you better not get caught. Anyways, i guess he was feeling pretty stealthy on his bike , so he went for it. On the way there he gets hit by some asshole. It was one of those situations where he is laid out on the side of the road with a drunken downtown crowd enjoying the spectical.
Now this is where any normal fool would begin the damage control. either pretend you cant talk or come up with an alternate destination.preferrably one that won't start a shit storm. Once your cover is blown its time to loose the James bond attitude and go on the defence. I guess he was cuncust or something and thought is was a good idea to tell the paramedics and police he was simply riding his bike to the strip club.
I guess no problem there he probebly made the crowd laugh. When you look at it he hadnt even done anything wrong, yet. he was just minding my own business thinking about bouncing tits and ass then BAM. Fuck, now not only is he not going to the strip club, but he's going to the hospital instead.
Back to his girlfriend once they get his maimed ass out of the road traffic lightens up and his girlfriend who just so happens to be stuck in the traffic he caused drives by and sees his ass. So she fights her way though the crowd and explains to the cops she knows him and is infact his girlfriend. I'm sure when he saw her he wanted to pull some Sylvester Stallone shit and walk his injuries off in order to intercept and aviod the impending disaster that was heading his way.
So there he is, All he wanted was to see some titties and some ass instead all he can see is hormonal, pregnant, 22 year old girlfriend getting the rundown by some cop who was never briefed on the male group dynamics. He's physically injured and mentelly preparing himself for damage control. He knows the web of lies, trechary, and deceit he spun earlier in the night, about how he was going to take it easy and stay home just got fucked up worse than he did.
Now everyone knows the feeling when you just dont want to hear it. This bitch starts in on him instantly imasculating him in front of a crowd of drunks. She starts in with the i cant believe you lied to me what else have you been doing behind my back bla bla bla. So think about your science classes you got two options in a situation like this fight or flight. He's strapped into a gurney so he can't flee so he lets the bitch have it, and rightly so.
Personally, still being somewwhat at fault, i would have pulled the what the hell i could be dead bla bla bla.......feeel sorry for me damage controlBut naw this dude is just to stunned to react and takes a verbal beating to the great amusement of the crowd. when my mom told me this story she told it from the poor girl standpoint. When i heard it i was like, what a bitch poor dude. THe last thing any one wants to deal with after getting run over on a bike on the way to the strip club is a hormonal girlfriends. Not to mention in front of a crowd.
So the story ends where it begins. some girl crying in a crisis pregnancy center about how he hasent called in three days and declined her access to him at the hospital.