Blatant and brutal honesty
DeunanKnute
Published
03/28/2013
While thinking about how to title this blog I imagined the reader, at the end, thinking the title to be inappropriate. I'm going to assume that most readers will think the title should be something more akin to... "Deunan is a fucking asshole." Well my friend...I shan't disagree.
I have decided recently to reacquaint myself with my angry persona. I used to be, for lack of a better term, a huge fucking asshole! I used to seek out people I deemed to be less intelligent than yours truly and then proceed to rip them to shreds on an intellectual level. I do not consider myself to be a rocket surgeon nor a brain scientist. I consider myself to be a VERY average person. And being an average person, when I come across mind shattering stupidity it has a tendency to make me angrier than a crack addled badger that's been nagged by Mrs. Badger all day long. I have spent the last few years trying my best NOT to be that person. Now I have changed my mind and decided to embrace that persona but with one tiny little change of aspect. No longer will I seek these idiots out but when one of the poor, unfortunate souls happens to cross my path I shall be blatantly and brutally honest. I will no longer hold back that which is truly Deunan. (Yes, I refer to myself in the third person...deal with it.)
I will now give you an example of what, exactly I mean by this: Last week while standing in line at the Bank of America during my lunch hour at work one of the aforementioned blithering imbeciles had to be dealt with. Being a Friday at noon the bank is generally VERY busy and on that day it was exceptionally so. While waiting I was touched/bumped at least three times. Turning to find out why this was happening the question answered itself abruptly. The "gentleman" behind me stood at 5'11". Wearing clothes that probably hadn't seen a washing machine in months. It became immediately obvious this guy had no concept of personal space. I noticed that the other people in line were pretty much evenly spaced apart at arms length while this asshole felt he needed to be no more than an inch or so away from me. What I was being touched/bumped by was this sloth's enormous gut. The kind of belly that's so perfectly round that tucking in his shirt had probably never even been attempted due to its impossibility. I would guess his weight to be, roughly 375lbs. In a vain attempt to gain space between us I moved forward as much as I could without invading the personal space of the person in front of me, only to be bumped into once more. I was able to keep my disgust/anger down to a controllable level though until.......his phone rang. You all know at least one person like this...the type that, no matter what, feels that it is necessary to fucking SCREAM into their phone. Ten seconds into this moron's phone call the people in front of me turned around to assess the commotion, as well as the half dozen or so tellers. Reading the facial contortions of at least fifteen people in front of me, all thinking the same thing I was, I felt it necessary to DO something about this.
In turning to confront this prick my elbow hit his gut. That, apparently, was enough to send me into the "I don't give a fuck what happens next" frame of mind. This is how the conversation (all one-sided, lol) transpired...
"Hey, hey, hey.........HEY! Dude you're being obnoxiously loud, take a look around man, you are disrupting everyone and everything happening here...tone it down." He opened his feeding hole to, I assume, object or defend himself. I didn't let him say a word. "Dude...get off your phone and be fucking quiet. While you're at it you need to back the fuck up and quit bumping into people, it's called personal space. Keep your distance mother fucker." Now I could see anger in his face but I didn't care. He pocketed his phone and attempted to speak again. I, of course, did not allow that. "Everyone here turned to look at who the fuck the asshole is that's screaming into his phone and while that was happening you bumped your fat ass into me multiple times. Shut the fuck up!!!" He turned and walked quietly out of the bank. The facial expressions that I could see ranged from shock to acceptance. The guy in front of me in line shook my hand while I noticed smiles on most other faces. The teller whispered to me..."thank you, that was awesome."
From now on I will no longer shy away from what needs to be done. I have learned that nobody out there could give a shit less about Deunan. Why should Deunan give a fuck about them?
Deunan the Defiler
I have decided recently to reacquaint myself with my angry persona. I used to be, for lack of a better term, a huge fucking asshole! I used to seek out people I deemed to be less intelligent than yours truly and then proceed to rip them to shreds on an intellectual level. I do not consider myself to be a rocket surgeon nor a brain scientist. I consider myself to be a VERY average person. And being an average person, when I come across mind shattering stupidity it has a tendency to make me angrier than a crack addled badger that's been nagged by Mrs. Badger all day long. I have spent the last few years trying my best NOT to be that person. Now I have changed my mind and decided to embrace that persona but with one tiny little change of aspect. No longer will I seek these idiots out but when one of the poor, unfortunate souls happens to cross my path I shall be blatantly and brutally honest. I will no longer hold back that which is truly Deunan. (Yes, I refer to myself in the third person...deal with it.)
I will now give you an example of what, exactly I mean by this: Last week while standing in line at the Bank of America during my lunch hour at work one of the aforementioned blithering imbeciles had to be dealt with. Being a Friday at noon the bank is generally VERY busy and on that day it was exceptionally so. While waiting I was touched/bumped at least three times. Turning to find out why this was happening the question answered itself abruptly. The "gentleman" behind me stood at 5'11". Wearing clothes that probably hadn't seen a washing machine in months. It became immediately obvious this guy had no concept of personal space. I noticed that the other people in line were pretty much evenly spaced apart at arms length while this asshole felt he needed to be no more than an inch or so away from me. What I was being touched/bumped by was this sloth's enormous gut. The kind of belly that's so perfectly round that tucking in his shirt had probably never even been attempted due to its impossibility. I would guess his weight to be, roughly 375lbs. In a vain attempt to gain space between us I moved forward as much as I could without invading the personal space of the person in front of me, only to be bumped into once more. I was able to keep my disgust/anger down to a controllable level though until.......his phone rang. You all know at least one person like this...the type that, no matter what, feels that it is necessary to fucking SCREAM into their phone. Ten seconds into this moron's phone call the people in front of me turned around to assess the commotion, as well as the half dozen or so tellers. Reading the facial contortions of at least fifteen people in front of me, all thinking the same thing I was, I felt it necessary to DO something about this.
In turning to confront this prick my elbow hit his gut. That, apparently, was enough to send me into the "I don't give a fuck what happens next" frame of mind. This is how the conversation (all one-sided, lol) transpired...
"Hey, hey, hey.........HEY! Dude you're being obnoxiously loud, take a look around man, you are disrupting everyone and everything happening here...tone it down." He opened his feeding hole to, I assume, object or defend himself. I didn't let him say a word. "Dude...get off your phone and be fucking quiet. While you're at it you need to back the fuck up and quit bumping into people, it's called personal space. Keep your distance mother fucker." Now I could see anger in his face but I didn't care. He pocketed his phone and attempted to speak again. I, of course, did not allow that. "Everyone here turned to look at who the fuck the asshole is that's screaming into his phone and while that was happening you bumped your fat ass into me multiple times. Shut the fuck up!!!" He turned and walked quietly out of the bank. The facial expressions that I could see ranged from shock to acceptance. The guy in front of me in line shook my hand while I noticed smiles on most other faces. The teller whispered to me..."thank you, that was awesome."
From now on I will no longer shy away from what needs to be done. I have learned that nobody out there could give a shit less about Deunan. Why should Deunan give a fuck about them?
Deunan the Defiler
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