Good Lord in Heaven... I am in so much pain. My girlfriend decided it was time to get me out of the house even though I am supposed to be bedridden for 3 days, I was getting kind of depressed and randomly falling asleep, so now I have a really eradic schedule.
We ended up going to the mall and she pushed me around in a wheelchair the whole time. We obviously had to use the elevator and it was kind of funny because I realized you can gauge who the assholes are and who are not when you're stuck in a chair, for instance the the young teenage mothers and their baby carriages who pushed right in front of me to get in the elevator almost running over my foot. I just kind of smiled (I'm on a lot of pain pills and too tired to be my normal asshole self) and sat there and waited for the next round. All of the older men held the doors for me and we're very nice. I have to wonder why these young teenage girls with their precious bundles of joy are such bastard women. I'm sorry that my cute little short-shorts make me look good even in a wheelchair and you couldn't lose that extra 30 pounds you gained cause you saw Juno and persuaded your 3 week boyfriend into starting a family, but come on stop being such a royal cunt. Thanks to you I banged my foot off the door and had to rush home to overdose on Vicodin again and I need to save those for after my surgery to have a good time, you selfish cumdumpsters.
On the bright side I got some more cute little shorts so older men will continue holding doors for me.
And that was my day. Fart in an elevator with a young bitchy girl in it for me please. She probably deserves it, especially if she has a kid and resembles the younger Spear's girl.