But it looks like tequila.

I was at a party the summer I graduated. It was a bunch of my pals, and a whole lot of people from school who had shown up. That night I learned and taught a few very valuable lessons.

I wasn't drinking and pretty much just making sure people weren't getting into too much trouble. This said, we know how boring a party can be when you're the sober one, and surrounded by drunk people.

I tried to talk to the dancers, nope snobby as all hell, I went to talk to the stoners, they were annoying the hell out of me, I went to talk to my friends but they were all engrossed in playing Halo.

"I'm bored" Yep, thats how it started. I don't know if it was the stoners or all the Halo, or even the dancers, but I was bored, and if my night was a bust, I'm taking everyone else with me.

Enter "J" him and I are a team that much like nitro and glycerine. Don't mix unless you really really mean it. He's sober, I'm sober, we have access to cheap household things that nobody will miss.

To start off I sneak the tequila bottle away and piss in it not before telling everyone else but them what I was doing. I may be a bastard but I'm not a fucking bastard. The dancers think they're better then me? Well their breath is gonna stink as much as their words. And because this smiting must be complete. The "Coup De Gras" is toothpaste placed on the toilet seat.

The stoners, J and I use dental floss, and cross it between cars, gates, and between the porch and shed where the people are lighting up. J gets on the roof and starts running around, and in my best cop voice I tell them to get out. They all burst running out and tripping over every little trip wire we made, they're pissed but not pissed enough to do anything. Gotta love lazy stoners.

The finale of the night was picking the lock to the downstairs hookup room. We got in armed with a camera and caught the local pretty boy hooking up with his girlfriend. And another guy, I think we were more shocked to see him getting double teamed then he was.

That wasn't the last party they invited me to, but thats for another time.

Uploaded 09/17/2008
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