If you don't tell lies, at least you don't have to remember what you have said.
Do me a favor, and don't do me anymore favors
Pity the worms!
Up ahead! It's a DONUT HUT!
!It's not you, it's me. I don't like you. Shaloha
Early bird gets the worm. But what about the early worm?
Sorry that meeting sucked so bad
take this pen and remember to turn on your windshield wipers
Revoking your creative license
Smells like a wet dog.
Quote me as saying I was misquoted.
We have assumed control, we have assumed control, we have assumed control
Don't tempt me to unleash the one-legged space chickens!
If the cubicle's a-rockin', don't bother knockin'
Cheaper to fly to Old Zealand than New Zealand
i've arranged a list of exciting things we can do for the next thirty years
My brain is not large enough to destroy the entire world when unfolded.
Seeking a contextually relevant trap page
My dog has no noseVacation?
I'm leaning towards Pisa
Allow myself to introduce...myself
Dropping science like Galileo dropped the orange
MAKE MONEY FAST
Sender wishes to recall message
Please put your hands together for the lovely Shasta!
We've got a chicken with your name on it.
never finish a burrito
Unique and secret method in the history of preparing a treat for those who love spicy dishes.
Waterbeds for Quadrupeds
Astonishing feats of MENTALISM!
Is my webcam on?
Great mind thinks alike.
You're that crazy shark, aren't you?
I'm just a dolphin, maam.
I served in the military under General Apathy
Who is Marcello?
Got change for a $6 bill?
I Brake for Unicorns
circulate darling, circulate!
My hobby is collecting dust
Das Boot spoof set in subshop
For self-starters only
it's new improved crazy christmas
Have you tried the HotPockets? They're breathtaking!
Wanna try the Good Cop/Bad Cop routine?
Menos samba y mas trabajar
Hark! A Lark! Flying through the Park!
Scratch golfer finds ball in poison oak
Everything today is about the entire enterprise! Front and back lines - inside and out.
There's a great juggler on the radio tonight!
I believe those were mouse droppings
holy schadenfreude batgirl
Mind over don't matter.
I don't know quite how to say this
Your earrings would make a great fishing lure!
Charleston Chewy is Chewy, Louie. But not too chewy.
RE: four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie
Afternoon matinee at the drive-in theater?
The sushi boats are in the harbor for the night
Are these edible?
the dangerous combination of beard and bread
Muscle Shoals has got the swampers
Dang it! Evil triumphs again!
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadu
BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!
Go hang a salami! I'm a lasagna hog!
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
I'd like 600 mirrors please
the royal afflecks
When Lawyers Attack
Is it safe?
Help watering the plastic flowers
Cannibals are what they eat
Tonight on a very special "Blossom"...we have located your pants
Rack of Spam recipe
Do watch dogs know they're working?
Get your tongue out of my mouth, cuz I'm kissing you goodbye!
My motivational speaking tour
Jeremy! What have I told you about the correct way to butter crumpets?
Asking for your daughter's paw in marriage
Geometry and Theology
quote from DOG SOLDIERS, the best werewolf movie ever
glossed over funeral arrangements
Save the whales! Collect the whole set!
have you ever played wounded soldier?
Do Not Read
Large spreadsheet problem
Some Powdered Muffin with your Starfish, Dr Arbuckle?
There are eels in my hovercraft
Sensitive boyfriend sweater
Free James Brown (not valid with any other offer)
I am disrespectful to dirt!
Ma has a ham!
this brain has been polished professor
Long live the People's Mesh!
Shall we play a game?
About last night...Sorry I missed you. Stand still next time.
Nutrageous!Facts: 1) Ninjas are mammals. 2) Ninjas fight ALL the time. 3) The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
Workin' like a one-armed paper-hanger with an itch...Pass the timbits!
Time-off for good behavior
I am not edible.
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;superfluous super flues
Re: Are you alone?Fwd: Re: FW: RE: re: [FWD] joke\You are brave young dragon. But mine is the stronger gung-fu.I am not a chew toy
Hold me closer, Tony Danza
Impressive rutabaga!Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte!?
Stop baby sea turtles from being crushed!
Why does Chinese food always taste better in front of a computer?
Cooking pork chops in the toasterhooded hoods trying to hoodwink car hoods
What we have here is a failure to communicate
A hip-hop MC performs with improvised rhyme and the spoken word, typically over a thumping beat.
Clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon
What's new, Pikachu?
Welcome to SPACEXS
shortcut for next week's marathon
The black crow flies over the sleeping dog at midnight
CONCERN BROWN BAG TIX STILL AVAILABLE!
Easy Money: Snail Herd at Home!
What's the corkage fee at McDonald's?
Tired of having sand kicked in your face?
Hydrate or DIE!!!
the development of a nuclear powered egg
National Bring Your Hamster To Work Day
I love animals cause they're made of meat.
I know kung fu!
These aren't the droids we're looking for
Pandora didn't think outside the box
memory is the greatest trick we play on ourselves, after reality
Free Shakespeare (limit two Shakespeare per customer)
The CARDBOARD PROTOTYPE
LipSmack heartAttack girlie girl in a pink sleep sack
O Mighty Isis!
I'd love to, but I'm building a pig from a kit.
There was a young man from Verdun,
You mush read this!
I think we need to talk
Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be.
I changed her oil, she changed my life
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings
Alarming drop-out rate of sky diving classes
I'm a stereotype. I'm not wrong. I'm cuddly.dodging serendipities
You can't teach an old dog to live in glass houses
My favorite color is Vanna White
Shake it, don't break it, took your mama 9 months to make it.
Be Your Own Boss!!8098
my train of thought has derailed
Thank God and Greyhound she's gone
Pressing business at the dry cleaners
I am the kid next door's imaginary friend
Damn these scruples!
you're not as objectionable as you seem to be, are you?
Save some funk for Sunday
Who drank my Crystal Pepsi?
I've decided to start smoking
I hate eating breakfast on an empty stomach
Do you suffer from uncontrollable falling down?
Oh no! Not another learning experience!
The puppet show has been cancelled.
Ciao.I eat tofu and I vote.
Happy New Now!
Space heaters make great house-warming gifts
important: do not eat the fish
We sell solutions, not software
If I hop in the shower, am I turning into a rabbit?
This is the first email of your new life
Wake me up when it's time to go to sleep
How was tomorrow? I think you know what I mean.