I have decided to catfish everyone. Too much reality tv rots the brain. I mean, really, what do people think they are getting when they start an online relationship? Either side is more than likely lying about something. No one is ever really who they claim to be; who wants to admit to having horrible gas after eating broccoli or beans. Men all have squared jaws and know how to build a house from a twig and a roll of duct tape; women all have double d's and have modeled at some point in their lives (maybe 30 years ago in the mall fashion show).

But here is the kicker. Who really goes to the bar to meet anyone anymore? Who would want to meet another drunk person at the bar anyway. We all know how that ends. When you are online, you can be as drunk as you wanna be and still seem like the wittiest person in the room and let's face it; no one who is searching for that other person online is really that great. We are all losers in some fashion.

Sleeping with the inflatable girlfriend is more honest than looking for and having that online relationship. How many chicks are really dudes and how many dudes are really chicks. And those hot chicks? They don't really exist. Promise you that the playboy bunny isn't the chick who you're talking to. Or, how about those arrest records? Those are always fun to disclose.

Everyone wants to find love, because it's human nature. Everyone wants to believe that they've found their true love online. But let's be real. Your true love is actually a goat herder in a small Siberian village 3,000 miles away from where you really are. And let's face it, no one wants to cuddle with a smelly goat herder in the middle of winter. So that fake online front is way more fun than a smelly goat herder.

Uploaded 02/16/2013
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