HandCannon inspired me and so now I've gone out and got my own lawyer, and here's the starter list of people I will be suing on this site. Please note, the site itself will also be named because they allowed the following behaviors to continue under their watch:

Doctor Roman Gorgeous, for his repeated slandering of the name Charlie, as well as a hostile recreational environment created by his constant implied threats against all Charlies.

Bohankeeton, for repeatedly accusing my fiance of infidelities with him which led me to kill her in a drunken rage, burning her body and slaughtering her family (their dicks and pussies were flying everywhere). Hey, now, don't judge me, I'm not on trial. At least here.

Dirty Sanchez, who repeatedly offered to conduct various sexual acts to my person unwillingly or not.

Ugdork, who did the same, but not as wittilly, so I'll be going after a larger sum from him.

Strtjcktgrl, who once made me laugh so hard I pulled a muscle. Doctors bills will be reimbursed.

Hand Cannon, for giving me this stupid idea that I must now complete with some great flourish I can't yet find and I'll prolly get carpal tunnel from this shit.

Shit So Runny, for the lost investment of 200 "Good Riddance Shit So Runny" cup and plate sets I ordered for his bon voyage party, prematurely. I will also be suing Mrs. So Runny, if in fact that is her real name.

Itownred, for not having any intellect or sense of humor and hurting my feelings so bad with his statistics.

Miles Styles, because I once spit out my chocolate milk at some retarded comment you made. I love my chocolate milk, so there's pain and suffering to be included.

Sparks, you called me worse than Eshel. No slander law is stiff enough for that level of bullshit.

BlueRed Note you are so mean to people on here, it makes them cry and I figure I'll include you in this and turn it class-action and score some big douchepoints as well as raking in bigbucks.

Webb, I got caught by my fiancee looking at those pics of your boobs, which is why I figured she and Bo might be an item, you know, out of revenge. So I'll toss you in there.

Um... Wallboy... you're so liberal you surely know better lawyers than mine, so... you're cool.

poop: poop. poop poop poop poop.

Big Bad, you might think you're safe and all, up in your Commie-loving asshat of a country, eating your maple syrup and wannabe bacon, but I have news for you. I like John Stamos, and he's paying for my lawyer, provided we can extradite you.

Thaddeus Presley The Way You Type Makes My Head Hurt, So There's Suffering And Pain There. Plus, I Am Starting To Type That Way Too, Which Hurts My Pinky, Hitting Shift So Much.

I'm also planning on suing everyone that every insulted me. You hurt my feelings and made me wanna go tinkle myself. For that you will be punished severely. Unfortunately the list of people who've mocked me is too long to fit on here by itself, much less with the text already entered. Oh well, you know who you are... in that you are everybody.

Oh and all the racists, those nigger-fucking Jewish Communist Nazis should go back to Canada.