I shared some work experiences in one of my last posts.  I didnt want it to get too long, so I cut it short.  Here are some more misadventures in my employment while living in Cleveland.

                Hotel:  We often had people rent rooms for bachelor parties and bachelorette parties.  I told the bachelor parties where the best clubs were downtown and gave them free passes to strip clubs.  Id often get tipped a buck or two for each pass (I also had a side gig with the strip club where each pass with my code number on it earned two bucks for me).  The bachelorette parties were hands down more rowdy than their male counter parts.

                I was on shift one night when five very attractive women came up to me and asked if I could help them unload their van in the garage.  I said no problem and grabbed my luggage cart.  I unloaded cases of beer, bags, and wrapped packages and took them up to their room.  One of them came up to me, handed me a 20 and said that shed be back down for me later when three more ladies showed up.  Within an hour she came back down.  We went to the second vehicle in the garage and unloaded more items.  I asked her where everyone else was, and she said that all seven of them were in the room.  I went up and she opened the door.  The bride was wearing a veil, and nothing else.  That is also the only article of clothing that anyone was wearing.  It took me a long time to unload the cart.  They went to hand me another 20, but I said no thanks, Ive already been more than tipped.

                The hotel also hosted conventions.  Sometimes we had multiple conventions in the hotel at one time.  I soon found out that no one really paid much attention to what groups reserved the hotel for conventions.  We had The Young Republicans and a gay bowling league in the hotel at the same time.  Think about that.  The Young Republicans and a gay bowling league were holding conventions in the same place at the same time.  It made for a very interesting week.

                We had an outside company contract to be valets for the parking garage.  One of the guys that worked there had a girlfriend that would always call a pay phone to talk to him.  She always demanded that we get him for her.  I told her to just call the phone in his area.  She said that if she did that, her boyfriend would get in trouble.  We all got sick of her calling, so I just started to answer the phone with County Morgue.  This would confuse her, so she hung up and called back.  Other bellmen and front desk staff would answer the phone saying the same thing.  After a few days of this, she never called again.

                KFC: My first official job was at KFC.  It is for this reason that I do not eat there very much anymore.  When friends came in, I upsized side dishes for free and threw in extra pieces of chicken into their order.  Hell, we threw it all out at the end of the night anyway.  My grades began to drop and I repeatedly asked the manager to speak to him about reducing my hours.  He kept forgetting about talking with me.  I soon became a disgruntled employee.  The manager told me to go and change the sign.  I asked him what I should put on it.  He said that he didnt care, and to just put something up.  I went out and put FREE CHICKEN, TOMORROW.  I thought it was funny.  All of the other employees thought it was funny.  He didnt find it very funny.  Finally, I walked in right before my shift one day wearing my regular clothes with my uniform in a bag.  I handed to the manager and told him that I quit.  He said that he wished we could have talked about it.  I reminded him of the numerous times that I did try to talk to him.

                BK:  Burger King was my second official job, and just a part time summer gig.  For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to work fast-food again.  It really was not one of my best decisions in life.  My sole job was to put meat patties through the flame broiler and buns through the toaster.  I did nothing else, nothing at all.  I soon became very bored and decided to start to joke with fellow employees.  Customers had the choice of adding bacon to a Wopper at the time.  I saw on the drive through monitor that a cop was placing his order.  I reminded the girl working the window about asking if he wanted bacon on that.  She asked if he wanted bacon on it, not realizing it was a cop.  He became very irate with her.  He said No I dont fucking want bacon on that.  What the fuck is wrong with you.  That is not funny.  She still didnt know it was a cop and was wondering why he was being such an asshole.  She was pissed with me when he came up to the window.

                The manager told me to go and update the sign to promote the Pocahontas toys in the kids meal.  I made the sign say WE HAVE POKE-A-HOT-ASS TOYS!!  The sign was like that until the manager went home later that night.  I was asked not to come back to work the next day.  So was the end to my working fast-food.

                Sam Goody:  When I first started to work for Sam Goody we didnt have uniforms.  Later, we were issued black vests with the words Sam Goody embroidered on it.  I was cleaning a display shelf with Windex one day.  A guy asked me if I worked there.  I said no, Im just contracted to come in and clean.  He was really confused when I met him at the cash register.  Another day I went to the video game store down the hall, still wearing the vest.  I was looking at games when a guy asked me what I thought of a certain game.  I told him it was really shitty.  He asked for another game that he didnt see on the shelf and asked me to look in the back for him. I told him that we DO NOT do that here, and that the customer is NEVER right.  He said that he was going to tell the manager, and I responded with I am the manager.  He walked away pissed and confused.

                These are all I can think of at the moment.  If I can remember more funny things from work, Ill make a part III to this. 

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