Cold women and Cheap Beer

It is well known that we use alcohol in courting. Alcohol consumption is usually centered around a social event like a party, a meal, sporting events. (unless you are like me and drink cheap malt ale alone at night to numb the stinging citrus of reality that pours over the bleeding skin of your life)

The obvious way it helps in a social situation is that it lowers inhibitions, lubricates the nerves, makes you feel as though what you are about to say actually MATTERS.

Drinking also helps in that is is something to DO in a social situation that can distract you from any uncomfort one might feel. It's like discussing the weather. If there is an awkward lull in conversation or a boring moment you can go refill your glass, peel the label from your bottle, eat the garnish or just pause to take a sip. It can be like hitting a pause button until you think of something to say or you invent a reason to mingle elsewhere.

It also helps with getting laid. We all know why. Again it boosts confidence and lowers inhibitions. Drunk chicks have been known to sleep with even ugdork!

My question is, Have you ever misjudged the amount of alcohol you have been feeding your prospective partner and had her end up passing out or puking? I have. It's interesting that even as she was vomiting I was thinking, "If she just pukes once she might be OK to have sex. She'll have to brush her teeth..."

If she passes out you can still have sex. The choice is yours and they usually let you stick it in their toot when uncontious.

Have you ever been exceptionally nervous or just really into the party and overdid the drinking yourself?  I have. It sucks to be throwing down your best game, joking, drinking, snacking on shrimp, drinking and suddenly you realize the walls are spinning. You try to maintain. "OK, maybe if I stop drinking right now I can still fuck."

My obsession to keep down the chips, salsa, beer, shrimp, tequila, and spinach dip usually trumps my desire to bust a nut. The worst part is drifting in and out of blackout/spins to see the chick you were nicing up hanging on some other guy's arm.

Hi, I'm ugdork and I'm an alcoholic...

Uploaded 01/17/2009
  • 0 Favorites
  • Flag
  • Stumble
  • Pin It