Being in college is a great experience. It’s the time where you finally break away from the restrictions of you’re home life. No more nagging from your Mom or stupid chores from your Dad. You are a free man.
I started college the fall semester of 2007. I chose to live on campus because the college I attended was about 80 miles away. My parents were not too happy about me leaving, but I was excited to move out.
The fall semester came and the days quickly passed by. After attending my classes for the day, I would go back to my dorm and finish up my work. I’m not a geek. The only reason I did my work so early was because every night my roommate and I would go out and party.
Who would have known how easily you build up an alcohol tolerance in college. It’s extremely easy. By my third month at school, I could over drink anyone who challenged me.
Finals week soon came and we all buckled down to get some studying done. After the tests for the day ended, we would all head out for a heavy night of drinking and relaxation.
After the first day of finals I got extremely stress out so a night of drinking was exactly the thing for me. I called up my friends and we headed out to the bars. The night started out well, and everyone was having fun. Then we started drinking a lot, and in returned got kicked out of more places.
Our travels led us to a new-age hippy type bar. None of my friends have been there so we decided to try it out. It was exactly like a regular bar, but it contained alcohol that none of us have ever heard of.
We started to get bored of the place, until three cute girls came up to us.
“What are you guys drinking?” one of the girls asked me.
“Just beers, vodka, jack, nothing special.” I said.
She gave me a weird look and said “Why are you guys drinking that stuff? You do know all the special drinks they have here right? That’s why everyone comes here.”
“Well, this is my first time here. Do you mind showing me around the bar?” I said in a flirting type way.
“Sure.” She giggled, “I’ll show you are the whole bar.”
As the night got later, I realized had been drinking a lot with this girl. I looked around the bar to tell one of my friends I wouldn’t need a ride home. Then that’s when I realized they must have left earlier when I was talking with this girl.
I was pretty sure I was getting lucky tonight. This girl was amazingly cute.
The time passed and it was an hour before last call so we drank all we could. She bought me drinks that I have never heard of. Some of these drinks had a real kick to them too. They were so strong that even a heavy drinker like me was under their trance. I could barely walk.
This was about the point where my chances of having sex were zero to none. I was completely wasted, and so was she. Neither of us brought cars so the bartender ended up calling us a taxi. The taxi driver dropped me off at my campus, and then dropped her off wherever she lived.
It was a hard night on me. I have never drunk that much hard alcohol in my life. As I awoke that morning I felt sick to my stomach. I cured that sick feeling with my most famous cure that I name “The Artery Clogger.” This cure consists of going to the dining hall and eating every greasy thing there is. After eating three trays of fries and pizza, I felt as good as new.
After eating, I remembered that I had a final in an hour. I ran home, which wasn’t the best idea, got changed, and then studied a little.
After studying for a while I realized that I had 10 minutes to get to my final. I ran through campus to get to my class which, again, wasn’t a good idea. I sat down and felt a little sick, but I soon regained my control.
The final started and I was doing well. I actually believed that I would be getting a great grade on this test.
Then about 40 minutes into the test I started feeling sick again. This was not a feeling that could be solved by a greasy meal. No, it could only be solved by leaning over the toilet for an hour whilst puking my brains out. I tried to regain my composure but there was no avail. I felt the puke climbing up my throat. I tried to swallow it but that only made me feel even worse.
“30 minutes to go then you will be done.” I thought “Just complete this thing and you can get the hell out.”
The puke was climbing further and further up my throat. I didn’t know what to do. You cannot leave the classroom during a test, let alone the final exam.
I sat there, almost in tears, I knew what was inevitable.
The puke came climbing up my throat. This time, there was no chance of swallowing. Out it came, spewing all over the desk, the chairs, the people in front of me, on the sides of me, and everywhere around me.
That greasy breakfast earlier showed it face too. Remnants of the chewed up fries and sausage pizza laid all over the girl in front of me.
Screaming emerged from the class, especially from the girl in front of me. Laughing soon engulfed the room. I was embarrassed.
“Wait, what is that?” I thought “Oh god, not again”
I unleashed the devil itself. My mouth was like a fire hose, shooting puke from my mouth like no tomorrow.
Everything was covered. My test was destroyed. My life was destroyed.
Then my professor came up to me and basically laughed. I have never felt lower in my life. She told me to leave the class and go to the nurse. She explained that she would call to get this cleaned up, and that I could remake the test due to the “unlikely circumstances.”
I ended up going back to my dorm. I was completely embarrassed. I called up my parents and told them what happened. I was looking for support. They laughed.