Well, I've been on here long enough for people to know I like to complain. Another in a long list of gripes:

Not griping.

Okay, that was vague, and confusing, but it does have a purpose. It tells you a little bit about who I am. Not very much, but you can assume I have a cynical sense of humor from that, and maybe catch a glimpse into my personality.

But that really is a gripe, particularly when it comes to personal descriptions here on the 'net.

No matter where you go...MySpace, Facebook, 360, AdultSpace, LiveJournal, whatever...No one puts a very good description of themselves up. Most people don't say anything useful at all Or just rely on a in-the-batroom-mirror snapshot. Do you know how many of the personal essays say “I'm honest, easy going and fun to be with?” Really? No kidding? Like anyone is going to say I'm going to bitch at you and steal your car in their personality essay.

It's like a stand-up routine I saw on Comedy Central about how obituary writers always say crap like “he loved to laugh.” As if laughter made the guy miserable. As if he hated laughing with a passion.

Then there are the blogs from guys that have say: “I am here for all the ladies!” Well, your profile says you're straight so, duh, obviously.

Griping in a profile essay would be better than that! Something like: “I work as a bank teller and I absolutely hate it.” That tells me something about you! I can tell you are not the sort of person who likes hanging around a cubicle and longs for a more interesting job.

In the novel Bluebeard, by Vonnegut, one of the lead characters introduces herself to the other by asking “How did your parents die?” While he protests it's a strange thing to ask, she makes the point that it shows that she has genuine interest in him.

And I can also appreciate the profiles that have the “I am a complete slut” tangent. The person lets you know who they are, what they like, and the things they expect. After all, isn't that what the “I'm here for the ladies” guys are meekly trying to say? Why don't they say what they mean? I'm sure there are plenty of women out there that would like to know a man who is a complete slut. Well, okay, so they already know it...they would just like to se him admit to it.

And for those of you who are just trying to be docile and quietly ease around the the subjects of life, your profiles say a lot more about you than you think they do.

When I see the profiles that say “I'm an honest person who is easy going and a lot of fun to be with too.” I am not impressed.

It tells me you have no creativity. No sense of adventure. You are hiding your personality behind cliche soundbites of information. You don't have the personal discipline to use correct punctuation or grammar. You have defined the things you say are fun so poorly I question if you even realize what fun is, or what it can be.

In other words, you tell me that you are not the sort of person I should be interested in at all.

So who am I that I may say this? If you want to know then just follow the links. It's not like I try to hide myself. The Internet is meant for people to share information, and this should especially include information about themselves. I'm not suggesting you post your bank routing number up, but really...if all you have is an avatar and "I'm a people person" on your profiles, what does it say about you?

Does it say nothing? Does it say you are nothing?