crazy thoughts... and a possum

So i'm on my way home from a long night of partying and theres a possum gnawing away at a skunk corpse on the opposite side of road. i move more towards the right just to make sure the lil fucker doesnt get scared by the massiveness of my car (massive only compared to the possum itself) and the possum gets confused and managed to run underneath my back tire. feeling like a total asshole for running over the innocent, yet vile rodent, i continued my jouney home. this is where i got to the thinking... why in the hell would he run towards the car!! i mean it doesnt make sense. you think that their instinct that had gotten these animals as far as it has in life would kick into effect and they would avoid the huge, metal object roaring by them. so then i start telling myself "why the hell did you swerve to avoid the possum, if i had only stayed on course it may have survived and made it far enough under my car to avoid any tires and it could have continued to eat the mauled skunk laying on the opposing side of the road." so i then blame myself for this animals stupidity. i mean how the hell is he supposed to know any better hes just a possum, right? i start to wonder if all animals are like mentally challenged individuals (except with much better coordination). that possum just crossed the road (without knowing that the consequences of doing so could be so severe) at the moment he saw my car, for absolutley no reason, and did not survive.
still the knot in my stomach from the whole occurence tells me i feel sorry for this defencless, oversized vermin. dont get me wrong im no peta activist. im still gonna eat my meat. but i hate accidentally killing animals. killing animals with a premeditated motive isnt murder, its survival. of course this could be argued in many ways but this isnt what the argument in my head is about. do you think he had a death wish. maybe he saw my car as a way out... he was all alone, eating a freakin skunk that went out the exact same way he was about to (irony) and saw my car as a gateway to an afterlife that was lied to him all his life by society (again this too can be argued... not the point).
AHHHH HAA!!! the little bastard commited suicide by running underneath my car!! the unsettling thud my car made as it effortlessly ran over its body will be with me for quite some time and now i have to deal with the thoughts of killing an animal who was just doing his thing. but if he wanted to die then fuck him, fuck him for making me think these thoughts. yeah ill still feel sorry that i ran him over but the only logical answer as to why he ran under my car was he wanted it that way. i mean why else would he have run towards my car rather than away from it into the lovley soft grass suitible for hiding from such a foe? Maybe all these thoughts are just crazy thoughts from the two hours of sleep, wheat thins, peperoni, cocktail franks, pull pork, beer, and southern comfort.

Uploaded 07/16/2008
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