Death and Taxes, Part Deux

True story, but a short one. I had a friend when I was in my 20's who wanted to start a gun collection.  No particular reason why. He just thought it would be cool. He wasn't a militarist or an NRA nut. He just wanted to buy a whole bunch of cool looking guns. And he wanted to do it for free.

He had a decent tech job and at the end of the year the government always took a huge chunk of his salary, and he felt it was about time to get some back. So he calculated the estimate for that year and almost spent the whole amount on guns. A carload of guns. A pimp-lovin'-buttload of guns.

As many guns as his finances and background checks would allow.

Then, he wrote them all off on his taxes.

Of course, he was audited. He was told to go in and explain why he had attempted to write off such a huge amount of guns as a 'business expense.'

He said: 'That's simple. I started a business as a hit-man.' I wish I could have been there to see the auditor's face. 'I started this business last year, but I found out I was really bad at it. Not only didn't I kill a single person, but I couldn't even get one job. I had to close the business before it even made it to the one year mark because I was such a terrible hit man.'

He had won. The auditors can't punish you for sucking at something. They can only get pissy if your reciepts are not in order. The police can't nail you for attempted murder if there was never any specific incident in which that could have occurred. He got back just about every cent he spent on the guns because of a business initiative law that year, and the worst they could do to him was a minor fine for not filing the appropriate Tax Identification paperwork for a business.

I doubt the same sort of shit would work today, but I still love it when the little guy busts the system's balls.

Uploaded 01/25/2009
  • 0 Favorites
  • Flag
  • Stumble
  • Pin It