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Do dead people bleed?

This is a joke, but it is also a true story. When I was taking psychopathology, I had a great professor who had taught at the vast psychology department at University of Minnesota. While he was working there, he had a grad student working for him that was one of those guys that while he was quite bright, he just didn't seem to “get it”.

The grad student was working for credits at a clinic, and the doctor warned everybody that during the winter there was always an influx of some of the more bizarre cases because as the weather got colder they wanted to get off the streets.

One day, while the grad student was conducting preliminary interviews (he had to separate the people who had mental illnesses from the homeless that were faking just to get in) he had someone come into his office and sit down.

He looked at the guy who came in and said: “Good morning, sir. How are you today.”

The guy replied: “I'm just fine. Feeling great except for the fact that I'm dead.”

The grad student blinked. “Dead?”

“Yeah. As in not alive. Dead.”

“Sir, you can't be dead. I'm talking to you right now.”

“Well, of course you'd think that. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm dead.”

This went on for a while. The grad student arguing back and forth with this guy about whether or not he was dead. Before long, the student started to get frustrated. I guess he hadn't been listening during the “don't argue with crazy people” lecture.

Finally the grad student decided to end the argument. He asked the guy “Do dead people bleed?”

The guy finally admits: “No. I guess dead people wouldn't bleed if they're dead.”

So the grad student gets a nurse to come in with a diabetes testing lancet. Just a little tool that makes a tiny little blood droplet. The nurse uses the lancet on the patient with his consent, and within a few seconds the guy is staring with fascination at the little drop of blood on his fingertip.

The grad student says, triumphantly: “There. Do you see my point now?”

“Well I'll be damned.” The guy shakes his head in disbelief. “Dead people do bleed!”

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