I went to a bar one night a couple years ago where I drank a lot and sobered up enough to drive.When I was driving home at about 1:30 in the morning,I got about a Quarter mile down the road and I saw some flashing lights in my mirror.I just thought, "Oh shit! I think I am probably going to go to jail tonight! How the hell am I going to get out of this one!"I pulled over into a parking lot. The cop asked me,"Do you know why I stopped you tonight?"I said, "No."He said, "You don't have your head lights on."I just said, "Oh oops."This was in town in Lansing, MI. The roads are well enough lit that you can see perfectly with out the lights.He asked, "Have you had anything to drink tonight?"I said, "No sir. I don't drink!"Then he asked where I was coming back from.I told him Michigan State University. He asked what dorm I was at. I said, Ahhhh, I don't remember."He asked, "Who were you hanging out with?"I said, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, I forgot their names. Their Just some old friends."I did not take into consideration, that Michigan State University campus is Ten miles away and I would not have made it that far any way without my lights on without getting stopped earlier. And if you are hanging out at MI. State University on a Fri. night, it usually means you were drinking any way.He said, "I find that hard to believe you were at MSU,you can't even remember the name of the dorm you were at or your friends names. I graduated from MSU." I thought, "Oh shit"He said, "I am going to ask you again, where are you coming from tonight?"I said, "Well Renos." (It is the name of the bar I Was at.)He said, "OK, how many beers have you had? You need to be honest, because I am going to call the bar and ask them."I thought," Yeah right, they don't even know my name at the bar. How are they going to remember me."I said," Only a couple beers."He said, "What is your idea of a couple? Two, Four,Ten?"I said, "Two." (I just thought in the back of my mind,it was more like 12 or 15.)He said, Get out of the truck!
I just thought, Oh shit!
He had me walk a straight line then stand on one foot and follow his pen with my eyes. I passed all that just fine.
Then he asked me some stupid questions. He said: Have you
Been to school? Are you literate? Can you say the alphabet?
I just thought: OK, would I have a drivers license if I did not go
to school and I did not know the alphabet? Where is Bill Engvall
when you need him to give this cop one of his signs?
He said, Say the Alphabet without singing it.
So I did that just fine to.
The cop said, Do you want to take the breathalyzer? You
Have the right to refuse, but then you will go to jail automatically.
So I had no choice but to take it! I was just barely under the legal limit!He said, "It is your lucky day, you are just two points under
the legal limit. So I am not going to take you to jail. But I am not going to let you drive either.He had me give him a number he could call to get me a ride. He called my girl friend and had her come get me. He stayed with me to make sure I did not get back in my truck and drive.He gave me the tube to the breathalyzer and said to keep it as a souvenir to remind me of how lucky I got that night.I don't normally drive after drinking and I know enough not to, but sometimes, I will take a little calculated risk.
However, I will absolutely not drive when I am really drunk
I am not that dumb. I tell this story, so maybe you can learn
from it and think before you drive after drinking!