E! True Hollywood Story: Gyps.

After basking myself in the provided chat room that houses a plethora of submissive servants, I began to ponder the inevitable, which is essentially completely annihilating the three-headed dictator (Gyps, Pepper, and Mac) and claiming victory thus freeing the servants of their mind control. 

Alas, my many upon many attempts have been nothing but fruitless as I was kicked CONSTANTLY by the temptress of the yore, Gyps, who sadly houses a child and yet lives the lifestyle of an irresponsible teenage, drinking a copious amount of alcohol and rolling blunts as though they grow on trees. I demanded an explanation for my banishments but due to Gyps' constant drunk nature, I received incoherent responses, mostly consisting of "ofuihw30" and "aonuf083f." Not only was I appalled by the disorientation of Gyps but the fact that she has been granted moderation powers in such a small period of time (she joined the eBaum servers the eve of March), which led me to investigate the meaning behind her sudden rise to power. 

Once upon a time, far away in Scotland of the year 1895, a virgin woman managed to self fertilize her egg in her oviduct and into her uterus, where time permitted and eventually a demon child popped out. The doctors were stunned, each ready to grab the nearest scalpel and kill the demon child, but it was too late - tentacles began to sprout from the child's back as each tentacle whipped each doctor thus leading to their unfortunate deaths. The demon child, who will later be known as Gyps, turned towards her mother and instantly killed her, spewing venom from one of her tentacles and injecting it into the mother's bloodstream. As you can clearly see, a demon child has no use for a mother figure as the demon child yearns to become independent of society to thusly prosper and overall benefit from self satisfaction. 

At the age of ten, the demon child was competent in controlling her self wickedness but still used her malicious powers for her own damn good. After the death of her mother, she was instantly placed in an orphanage, where she acknowledged that her evil powers should be used only in dire circumstances. One of these dire circumstances can be alluded to her experience at age fifteen, where Gyps was alone in a dark alley and was ambushed by a group of older gentlemen. The older gentlemen demanded Gyps to strip down and pleasure them but, being the nefarious demon child, she sprouted her tentacles from her back as the men backed away with fear on their faces. Gyps, knowing that a male's domain is the crotch region, ripped each male's testicles off and ate them, each bite resulting in a loud squishy crunch as the men crawled away in complete utter anguish. 

After this experience, Gyps developed an overall hatred towards men as her main objective in her wicked life was to torture and dispose of every single male. Gyps roamed the Earth as time progressed, killing famous male leaders, artists, and other influential male persons such as Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, John Lennon, John F. Kennedy, and many others. Gyps killed, killed, and killed until she finally found the hunt as being humdrum and unsatisfying hence leading to her permanent position inside of Mount St. Helens, where no mortal could venture into as it is an active volcano. Gyps generated electricity and conjured a computer to entertain herself - she spent years upon years searching for legitimacy on the Internet until she stumbled across eBaum's World. There, she located the chat room and noticed the joyous attitudes displayed by the plethora of people. 

Gyps grew envious over the gleeful nature and decided to strike the helpless bunch - she put everybody under her mind control, including her two little puppets PepperPeanut and Mac, and promoted herself to the Ultra Moderator of eBaum's World, where she can easily destroy you in the touch of a button. Gyps currently resides in the chat room, searching for men to control and destroy. Andrew Ryan, a bold and intelligent revolutionist, is currently attempting to disband the mind control and bring Gyps down from her position, since Andrew Ryan is immune to Gyps and her evil ways.  Gyps now occupies her time sitting high and drunk in chat, while her very own child drinks her demon blood, waiting to become just as wicked as her very own mother. 
Uploaded 07/05/2011
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