Ebaumers and I.Q.

Every once in awhile I notice conversations shifting to the subject of the average ebaumer with the totally-not-average I.Q. score. This predictably morphs into a pseudo-argument among various dolts on how exceptional they believe they are based on random internet Quotient quizzes.

Ebaums isn't the only place on the web I've seen such conversations, rants, and arguments bloom, yet if you've seen it go down one place, you may as well have seen it everywhere else... cuz of course, they're all bullshit.

Some years ago, I frequented a forum where such a topic escalated following one user's posting of a "reputable and rock-solid" internet I.Q. test. It consisted of about 50 questions, multiple-choice, with an immediate score given at the end and a chance to click a certain link for more detailed descriptions on your results.

Within about a half-hour, results began filling up the pages. And amazingly, nearly everyone - every random loser deciding to participate - landed some awesome and impressive score between 135 and 165.

Absolutely amazing, right? Especially since world IQ deductions fall (slightly varying based on testing authority) into this general scale:

140+       Genius
120+       Superior
110-119   Above Average
90-109    Average
80-89      Below Average
70-79      Borderline/Slow
69-          Deficient

Also amazing, considering over 68% of our population don't average over 115 at best. 2% of our population may score between a 130-145. And only a mere 1% will ever score over that.

...And don't think a leftover 32% can account for a vast population of brilliance. There are far more people with I.Q.'s under 89 than there have ever been geniuses.

Not that outright lying wasn't amusing enough, I decided to conduct a little experiment of my own. Since the test link given actually allowed for a refresh of previously answered question pages, all I had to do was go back through its entirety repeatedly, changing my answer to one question at a time. Then I could scoot to the answer page to see if my score had increased or diminished.

After about 2 hours, I ended up with my total score, with the highest score possible available for the given test. Since I ensured through my cheat method every single answer was correct, I decided to take the next steps necessary and click the link for an elaboration on my results.

After some random bullshit, as expected, fine print revealed the test was not official in any way, and cannot substitute for those administered by Stanford, RIAS, or CAS, among others. In fact, the test was purposely designed to give the same general score, in order to lure partakers into a paid deal where they could take the "real" test. Since theirs was incomplete, the max (as I worked to find out) could only top off at 125 for the questions given.

I probably should've capped the page after I posted the results of my experiment on the board and pretty much called out almost everyone for bullshitting about being "Superior" or "Genius" level minds.

Taking note of periodic IQ arguments on Ebw, it just reminded me of this. Anytime the subject pops up, it's like a pandemic on the web - everyone's careful to place themselves high enough where they're totally above average... but not so high as to make their bullshit score obvious. And it's ALWAYS in the same range, making for a veritable MENSA gathering on every site across the web, where somehow random 1- and 2-percenters seem to have found each other despite all odds.

Who knew so many of the world's greatest minds held fast to their virginity, wasting away their Hawking-esque wit on nutshot websites??
Uploaded 08/30/2013
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