Fashion Tips for your Feet - Part 1

So you got that important interview? You know, the one that could double your salary? Yea. That one. You better not show up wearing those dress shoes you got from Kohls, son; You need to show your interviewer you know whats up. So first lesson is....


First off, you wanna consider how dressy you wanna go. Top of the class-spectrum are wingtips: 

Hey guy, save the wingtips for a funeral or a wedding or something. Better yet, don't buy any wingtips. You'll never need 'em. Throw em out.

Ok, so those are ruled out. "What do I wear on my feet, sparks?!" You hear that? That's the voice in your head.  It just so happens, I have the answer. Yea. That's right.

Right below wingtips on the spectrum are cap-toe shoes.

See that shit on the toe? Yea. That's a cap. See, that's why they call 'em cap toes. Get it? There's a cap. On. The toe.

Yea, you'll look classy as fuck in these bad boys.

Wanna look classy AND be comfortable? These fuckers right here:

Bicycle toe, bitches. It's square, and it's awesome. Just like me. Oh yea, PROTIP: You can wear slip-ons too. It's ok.

Wait, you want a different style of dress shoe? Too bad. Don't get anymore. If you're over 60, you can get some penny loafers. People over 60 don't know how to use computers, though, so I doubt you're reading this blog. That's ok.

I forgive you.

But Sparks, you're saying, what kind of brands should I wear? Well that's simple as shit. First off, see those 30 dollar pairs of shoes in your closet? Throw em out. They'll look really nice next to those wingtips you threw out too.

You get what you pay for with shoes. So, if you don't spend around a hundred bucks, you're not doing yourselves a favor. Yea, I know. It's hard sometimes. So, if you can't afford nice shoes just yet, they better be on the top of your list once you get that rockin' job. Food? Psh.

So we've gotten rid of the wingtips and the dockers from Kohls. Here's what you're gonna want. Pay attention, brah, this is actually important:

Allen Edmond: Wear these classy, American-made shoes if you wanna look like a fuckin' badass. Pay 300+ and brag that you got them on sale.

Cole Haan: Same deal. Not as cool, though.

Johnston & Murphy: Slightly worse version of Edmond's. You'll still look great though. Trust me.

Ecco: Mo'fucking danish shoes. Yea. From Denmark. Most comfortable shoes you'll ever buy. At 150ish, you'll be getting your money's worth. Highly recommended from sparks158.

If you live in the middle of nowhere, at least get yourself a pair of Clarks. You'll be alright. I guess.

Take it from me; I'm a fuckin' professional.
Uploaded 05/23/2011
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