Well, no one seems to be reading. so this is the last part that shall be posted, unless I hear that anyone cares what hapens next. in any case, enjoy

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At least she looks happy. even the voice in his head was bitter. He couldn't help but feel unfulfilled. He came back into his humanity slowly, finding that there had been no struggle. It bothered him not to have her fight him. Even a little. Fear would be better. Fear made everything taste better.
He buried his face further into the mattress. What was wrong with him? Ashe would have fought him. And she would have won. But he would never lose the thrill of trying again.
'What have I done?'
As much as he had thought she was destroying him. He had been destroyed in her absence. Was that love? Or was this? He looked over at Julianna and sighed. She was so beautiful. So perfect. Why did he think about Ashe. Why couldn't she have just fought him. Why did she have to be so willing? Now he would never know that feeling again. That freedom.
~*~

"I knew it.."
'What the hell was that?'
Jas stood over them. "I knew you'd do this to him."
Nathaniel groaned. "Oh don't do this..." Julianna sat up too, ready for the fight everyone knew was coming. "I raped her okay."
Jas didn't expect to hear this. "She doesn't look raped."
"She likes it. Just give us a minute will you?"
"How the fuck did you get in here?" Julianna was getting up off the bed.
Nathaniel was sure he was still naked, and tried to moderate from under the blanket covering him. "Can we get clothes on first?"
"I never should have trusted you to go get him."
"What are you jelous?"
Jas stumbled abckward. "Jelousy doesn't factor into it. He's our pack leader. You can't have alpha and beta sleeping together."
Julianna sat back down on the bed, draping herself over nathaniel. "Well I'm lupa now.."
Nathaniel sat up so abruptly he threw her forward and sent her fallingoff the short end of the matress. "Lupa? I didn't name you lupa" He leaned over to help her back upright.
"But you mated with me, and you marked me look." she pulled her hair aside showing an awkwardly oval sahped red mark in the space between her neck and shoulder.
Nathaniel set her back on the bed and halfway stood up, causing the blanket to fall off and reveal all of him to the room. "I dont..."
Jas looked ready to kill them both. "Is this how you repay me? Letting her fuck her way into alpha status?"
"No damnit I did rape her. As much as I can remember I did."
Julianna was curled up in his lap again. "You marked me. I'm your chosen mate now."
Jas looked like she would scream, but just stormed off until they heard the door slam.
"We never figured out how she got in here." He looked down at Julianna in exhaustion. "You know I didn't mean to mark you."
"I know. But she's been after being your lupa for a long time. Do you really want her as your Lupa?"
"She's enforcer material. That's why I amde her one. Alot of good that does now with my entire pack gone." he felt alot like crawling back into bed and staying there.
"I'm still here with you, and that enforcer of yours."
nathaniel pt his head in the pillow strew partway over the top of his matress and screamed.
Julianna backed up abruptly, not really understanding where that came from.
"Listen, can we talk about this?" for awhile he had forgotten that this wasn't his house and he couldn't kick her out. but he could run. that was an option.
"Oh here it comes. you always ahve to analyize it."
Nathaniel sat up again. "What kind of tone is that to take with your pack leader? I raised you like a daughter."
"Yeah and you fucked me like one too."
he had to laugh. it was just so ridiculous. "Well needless to say I didn't treat you like a sister either. so much for that."
"Just tell me you don't regret it."
"I don't regret things ever. But you can't be lupa."
"You said her name you know. I knew you might have been thinking about her."
"Who?"
~*~

"Who is she?"
Nathaniel glance dat his sketchpad. "Who is who?"
"You said her name, you know."
He knew. he had been thinking about her. But she wasn't real. "Said who's name?"
"I've been so foolish. you told me she wasn't real."
"Who wasn't real?"
"The girl in the drawing."
~*~

that was long before she ever came to him for real. as real as it was anyway. She had always been just an idea. the figure he learned to draw with. He never knew where he knew her from. But it always came back to her.
"I think I have to see her again."
Juliana looked horified. "I knew you were thinking about her, but you can't."
"I have to. She isn't gone from my mind yet, and she may never be. She'll just haunt me for the rest of my life if I don't see her again."
"She won't let you leave this time. She might kill you for leaving before."
"If she's even real. I think I'm okay with that."
"You can't be serious." she tried to get him back onto the bed as he stood, but it was rather useless.
"I am."