Waltie Baby, I'm an avid golfer with a 4 handicap. Do you have any good golf tips? - Phil from California

Dear PfC,
I think it's admirable for people with handicaps to play golf. I think people with handicaps should be more integrated into society and should not be shunned as they have been since the reign of Eisenhower. As a result, I'll give you some of my best golf tips.

• Aim for the shortest grassy area on the course at all times.
• Once you have hit the ball in the hole, look for the closest flag that is one number superior to the flag currently on your green.
• Watch the ball to see where it lands. That is where you must hit your next shot.
• I have heard that Tigers are often present on golf courses. As a result, always know your closest point of exit.
• Balls are often hit better with the club head cover removed.
• When you are within twelve inches of the hole, you may wish to use your putter instead of a driver.
• Finally, eliminate everything that will prevent you from hitting the ball with accuracy and power.

Good luck with your handicapped golf performances. And if you get disgruntled, always remember the famous quote from Mark Twain - "Golf is a good walk spoiled off a short pier." Hope that helps.

Love, Professor Genius

For More Genius advice go to Professorgenius.blogspot.com