God Help Us!


Well, Texas Governor Rick Perry just announced his presidential bid.  He just held his National Day of Prayer hosted by one of the most bigoted Right wing groups in the U.S.  Although he CLAIMS that the day of prayer wasn't political, it had politics written all over it.  So, what will it be like with Perry as president?

If he gets elected, he'll make George W. Bush look like a choir boy.  He supports everything Bush did, only hopped up on steroids and meth.  Sadly, there are many out there looking for a "Christian" president.  They reminisce about the days of Bush and want to take it back further to the days of the Civil War.  Well, that may be too advanced.  They want to take us back to the 1780s or somewhere near that period.

I may be a Christian, but I don't welcome a Theocracy, especially one that worships the wealthy over the average citizen.  I'm sure the first thing Perry would do is have stockades put on every street corner so that passers by can throw rotten vegetables at those who don't worship at his altar.  Also be prepared for public lashings.  If you think the Spanish Inquisition was bad, wait until you get a load of what it's like with all the new technology!

Americans should be prepared to have government cameras installed in their bedrooms to be sure that you're only having sex if you're married and, even then, only in the missionary position.  Church attendance will be required at least twice a week if not five times a week and only at Perry approved churches.  If you're in the KKK or you're a Neo-Nazi, you're probably fine with this.  You've probably already seen him at your church anyway.

Gone will be unions, civil rights, and anything else that he and his corporate buddies might not like.  If you're a woman, be prepared to spend your days barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.  If you make under $250,000 U.S, be prepared to be a slave.  They had slaves in the bible, so they'll make sure they have slaves when he's president.  Don't be fooled into thinking it will just be black people who'll be the slaves, though.  You'll need a lot of money and a lot of land to be of any importance to the almighty Perry.

Unlike Bush who only talked to God, Perry will probably claim to have been Jesus' manager and tell us that Jesus was nailed to a cross because he didn't follow Perry's instructions.  He'll de-fund education because there isn't government funded education mentioned in the bible.  Besides, slaves don't need an education.  He's already accomplished much of that in Texas already.  He'll also cut funding for teachers, police, and firefighters just like he did in Texas.   Americans will become even more ignorant than they already are.

I imagine that Fox News will be the one and only station allowed in the United States.  Think George Orwell's Ministry of Truth.  It will be required viewing on telescreens wherever you are.  If you speak against any of these outrages, I'm sure he'll have men at his disposal to take you to a reeducation center where you'll be thoroughly interrogated and possibly tortured or killed depending upon how much of a threat you appear to be.

Rick Perry will probably start a war with Canada.  He'll want to be sure that he controls any oil pipelines and oil reserves in North America.  After that, he'll start the Holy War to restore Jerusalem to Christians.  Oh, you're Jewish?  You'd better convert, and fast.  He'll probably have you burned at the stake with the witches.  After all, his favorite churches teach that God hates Jews for killing Jesus.  Be sure not to point out that Jesus was a Jew.  He won't like that.

Once he has these under his control, he'll start a war with Russia from Jerusalem since that's part of biblical prophecy.  Jesus didn't come back soon enough (he never DID listen to Perry), so Perry's going to start the war himself.  He'll make SURE all the biblical prophecies come true by his own hand.  That will give him a seat at the right hand of God.  Then Perry will throw the devil in the fiery pit of hell (Texas, judging by our recent weather) and rule over the earth for 1000 years.  After all, Jesus isn't fit to rule because he isn't rich.

Copyright © 2011 Cal Jennings

Uploaded 08/08/2011
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