Most of you already know that im currently off work because of a burn out. Its been 8 months now and althought I dont feel 100% recovered, Im thinking about going back to work.

Im not going back to my old job tho. I had to quit that job back in febuary. Why? Well because the insurance company hired by Rogers would not cover me. I had papers from my doctor and pills prescribed (wich I dont take anymore thank god) and still, they figured I should go back to work... Regardless of what my doctor told me to do wich is to stay home and get some rest. So long story short, after 3 months of going back to the doctors to get more papers done and making several phone calls to several bitches I was told that I had to go back or else, I was gonna be fired. Yeah, fired for getting some fucking rest like my doctor told me to. awesome!

I went to see a different doctor, hoping he would be more helpfull and less of a careless asshole like the previous one. I asked him to write me a note that my old job is too stressful and negative for me to go back. That way, I was able to quit my job and keep on receiving my income. See, we have 2 ways of getting money from the government in canada. First one is from the provincial government. Its rougly 500$/month given to handicapped people or single unwed mothers. That one is considered to be last resort and reserved for losers who stay on it for years. The other one is from the federal goverment. Thats the one we all pay for on our taxes. It amounts to 52% of your previous salary. Thats the one im getting. Im allowed to 50 weeks and they will be up soon. They pay only if you were fired or laid off so if you quit you better have a damn good reason and paperwork to back up your shit. First luck since I left in october, my plan worked.

Im looking forward to getting out of the house more, meeting new people, getting more money... but im honestly not thrilled. There are still days that I feel like shit and im afraid im gonna have one of those day at my future new job and screw it all up just because I really dont feel like smiling. People tend to take it the wrong way when youre in a shitty mood. I like to tell them its not them who pissed me off but we all know thats not enough. Having a burn out is the strangest feeling ever and even if im a good actress, I cant always find something pleasant to say even if I really try to be as nice as I can.

My aunt (and godmother) called me last night to ask me if I could take my 9 year old cousin to day camp for the rest of the week. She usually hires a teenage girl to babysit but it turns out shes sick. My cousin has down syndrom so thats why she needs someone to accompany her to camp. Someone has to make sure shes eating her lunch and taking her meds, that sort of stuff. Im so happy that ill be spending these 4 days with her. I havent seen her in a long time. This is a great opportunity for me to ease my way back into the working world. It sounds easy to just watch a kid for a few hours but unless youve taken care of a handicapped child before, you dont know what youre talking about. Its beautiful yet challenging.

My camp name will be Noisette (pronounced noah - zett), wich means hazelnut in french. Hopefully, ill have some funny camp stories for you at the end of the week. Wish me luck!