Fart in case someone thinks this is spam
Ok so my g/f and I have this great fan called the wind machine. It's great for circulating the a/c when it's boiling hot, or just to keep cool on those in between not too hot not cool enough days. It's also great for a gas attack on my g/f when she's lying on the couch. Oh yeah, I'm sure you know all about it, the old pull down my pants, pick up the fan, stick my ass to the back of it, point it towards her and let it rip. An awesome way of getting the toxic air to her as quickly as possible.

To pull this off you have to be quick. Make sure you have something you can pull down easy and quick, preferably boxers or sweatpants. You'd be much better off without buttons or zippers. As you are pulling down your pants you should be able to lift the fan at the same time. Make sure your fart is ready to go, if not you'll be standing there trying to force it out while she kicks the fan straight up your ass.

 If your g/f is not as forgiving as mine then make sure you have pants in your car. This way you can quickly get out of the house with your boxers on, drive to your friends' place and chill out while she cools down. Or you just may want to keep an extra pair of pants at your friends' place. I don't suggest you do this more than once if she chases you out of the house.