That they are indeed.... especially now.
I promptly took the quickest route away from my home town, as soon as I could. I moved into a trailer, and put up with quite a bit of bullshit, all in the hopes of never returning to the same crowd that had turned sour. Most of my old friends that I had grew up with, were on serious drugs, alcoholics, and/or teen parents.
I have a huge issue with teen pregnancy. It's my opinion that if you can't take care of yourself, you have no business taking on the responsibility of a completely dependent life. They all say it will be ok, things will turn out, he'll find a job, etc etc.... but it rarely works out. More often than not, I see grandparents raising their grandchildren. And 7/10 it's not just one grandchild, its 2-3... and in one case that I know of - 5.
I recently visited my home town, and ran into a girl I hadn't seen or heard from for over 4 years. She was ready to pop. I said congratulations, and asked her what she was having... she was excited, and not in the least bit scared of the future to come. She, nor her newly landed Jamaican hubby (who's looking for a wife for his brother, if there's anyone interested), have employment. Her mother is a serious alcoholic who is known for passing out in public places... and drinking while she was pregnant with my friend... who wasn't born with a clean bill of health. She had a birth defect with her heart, and turned out to be one of the stupidest people I know. She's never been able to work... ever. She's never been able to grasp basic training anywhere. Her husband obviously uses her to gain citizenship - they married 2 months into the relationship. I didn't criticize, its not my place. We just carried out a short conversation about other people who I didn't know were new parents, or in jail. She seemed happy.... that's what's important right?
My ex best friend, still calls me on a bi-weekly basis, or whenever she can't find anyone willing to go bar hopping with her. She has a 1 year old son. I remember back when me and her were kids. She was usually left at home alone, and routinely called around the local bars looking for her mother. Once found we would travel to this bar, and she would then guilt her mother into giving her money. In the early years we would spend that on a pizza, and a movie. But around the age of 11-12 it swiftly turned to alcohol. I can see her son go down the same path. I know very well that, that child will either grow to resent her for her ways and neglect, or continue the family tradition of hard core alcoholism. She recently dumped the father of her kid, and now lives on child support. Reason for the break-up: sexual boredom. This man was a great one. He would constantly be working to provide for his family, in which he loved unconditionally. You would rarely see them together, as my friend would often be in the bars spending faster than he could possibly make. He worked very long hours as a chef, only to come home to the drunk of his life. I think what really happened, is he started to tell her no. Something she's never taken too kindly to.... at all. Now she has a new "yes-man" to pray on. This one has a car, and a on-going social assistance claim. She seems happy now... and that's what's important right?
Don't get me wrong. Accidents do happen... and I'm sure that many people do step up to the plate, and do the best they can. Others don't. And it pisses me off to no end. Grandparents shouldn't be faced with the choice of either being the primary care giver for their grandchildren, or hand them over to the system. They don't have the option of trying to force their children into responsibility, as they obviously couldn't do that 9 months prior. It angers me to know that by a teen girl saying that "it's ok, it'll all work it's self out" it means that her parents are probably the ones going out on a limb to make sure that innocent child has a fair chance at a normal existence.
The people who shouldn't have children, have the most - the earliest. And the people who would be suited parents have a tenancy to wait, or have the least amount of children. That's what I find anyway. While I was living with my parents, we had this elderly neighbor who, in his earlier years, obviously made a few mistakes. He is the father of 2. One is a known drug dealer who is known for his bicycle, and the other is a convicted pedophile, who fathered 7 children - 3 of which were in Foster Care. The other 4 were living with him, his pregnant wife, and his father. I met these people in person one horrifying spring afternoon. I was smoking a ciggarette on my parents front porch when I saw an infant that couldn't of been older than 2 run down the street in his diaper. I didn't think much of it, as I expected a child of that age to be supervised. Moments later I saw his, no older than 5 year old sister, running down the street swearing at him! She called him an asshole and demanded that he came back home (being his grandparents house). When he didn't listen she gave up, turned around, and went home. At that point I was off of my porch, keeping a watchful eye on the toddler. Minutes passed and by now the child was nearly a block away from home, and ready to turn the corner. No one came out of the house. So I went over there. I saw a bunch of kids playing outside on their bikes, and asked where their mother was. Neither of them knew. I knocked on the door, no answer. I was walking away when I heard a lady say "where?". I turned to see the fattest bitch I'd ever seen in person. I told her where her kid was, and she said "oh that's ok, his sisters are watching him", and didn't EVEN BOTHER TO LOOK HIS WAY!!!!!! With that I walked away, she then started to venture back into her father-in-laws home. I was pretty furious at this point. I got to the end of the drive way when I saw him turn the corner onto a very busy street. I yelled "he's on Killaly!" she looked over, didn't see him, and said "I'll get my shoes". With that, I ran around the corner, followed him while I waited for his mother. I then noticed the kid didn't have any shoes on, and looked pretty cold. I waited and she didn't show up... as if she honestly assumed that he was ok, and that I was crazy for being concerned. I did what any sane person would do. I picked the kid up, and carried his screaming ass back to his parents house. I knocked on the door, and when someone yelled "come in" I did. I saw 3 adults sitting on a couch, watching tv. When I presented them with their precious bundle of joy, they actually started arguing about who was supposed to go get him, 10 minutes prior. The little girl ended up getting in trouble for not watching him. That's not even the worst. Two days later I answered a door bell ring at my front door. Turns out I was a new friend to these kids. There was the little 5 year old girl, a young toddler, and the little escape artist standing on my front porch. They wanted me to come out and play with them. I looked around for their mother, and she was no where to be seen. I gave the kids some side walk chalk that my mother had purchased at a garage sale for some reason (she's a bit of a hoarder), and let them draw on my drive way.... at least someone was watching them. They were all very trusting, and wanted to go in the back yard to see my dog. I didn't let them, and they became pretty pissed. They took their chalk, and ventured back home. About 30 minutes later the mother came out and she was fuming! "Why the fuck didn't you tell me my kids were hanging out at your place? I couldn't find them, and I was so worried." I couldn't hold my anger in at this point. "Count your blessings" I said to her. She gave me the dirtiest look that her facial rolls would allow. "What? You didn't hear me? Let me simplify things for you... while you were sitting on your fat ass, your children wandered over here looking for someone to hang out with.... instead of passing blame, try taking responsiblity... if that's too hard for you, at least thank the people who make your life easier, and just be glad that I'm not a PEDOPHILE CRACK HEAD!!" She started rambling on about how hard her life is, and how she can't supervise 24 hours a day. I left her with this "if I see your children wandering this neighborhood again, I'm calling FACS and you spill your sob story to them. Keep in mind, her husband is a convicted pedophile. He raped a guy I know, when he was 6. He had already served his sentence, and was a free, procreating piece of shit.... and had his brother not been connected, he'd be a dead - non-procreating piece of shit.
People... how the fuck do people get away with this? Why can't people take responsibility, especially when it comes to their children? If you can't take care of yourself, you have no fucking business having children. There should, and I know this sounds a little unfair, be a test and a background check before allowing children into this world, otherwise people should have to legally use birth control, and pay a fine for having illegal children. People who adopt go through soooo much trouble, and spend soo much money, trying to care for a child that isn't there's, while the irresponsible are popping unwanted children out like a gumball machine... insert welfare check - get a prize.