First off let me begin by apologizing to GIJoe and anyone else that may have been looking forward to the next installment of Admiral Slin. I had the next part of the story in my brain until I decided to go to Safeway and grab a few things. This story is just too JUICY not to blog about.
So, it's around 10pm and I've got the munchies. I don't feel up to reheating dinner so I start poking around in the kitchen for whatever sounds good. There is nothing in my kitchen!!! It's not too late so I figure I'll drive up to Safeway real quick for a munchie fix. Once inside I decide I might as well check and see if there's any sales going on. I don't know about the rest of you but I am not rich, if I can save $1 I sure as fuck WILL.
I start by going up and down each aisle real quick like ya know? If anything sticks out I'm on it! I notice a sale sticker on Idahoan potatoes(the instant kind). I fucking love those things! They're normally $2.50 a bag, the sticker says "buy 10 or more and they're $1 a bag." FUCKIN' SCORE!!! I grab 10 bags.
I love soup, any kind, it's my comfort food if you will(New England Clam Chowder especially.) So, I hit the soup aisle. I really like Progresso. They totally kick Campbell's ass! I see another sale sticker...Progresso Soups are normally $2.49 a can...the sticker says "Buy 4 or more, mix and match, for 99cents a can." SCORE AGAIN!!! I grab 4 cans of chowder and 4 cans of Chicken & Dumpling.
What else do I need? Bread!!! I hit the bread aisle...one of my faves is Butter Top White. I see another sale sticker (there IS a God) Butter Top White is normally $1.79 a loaf...on sale for 99cents. I AM IN FUCKING HEAVEN BY NOW!!!
Ok, what else? I need stuff for the bread right? I like Bumble Bee Chunk Light in water. SCORE YET AGAIN!!! It's on sale for "4 cans for $3." Normally $1.29 a can.
By now I have a raging savings boner. (Can you blame me?) I didn't think so.
I grab a few more items, no major sales or anything, and hit the check out stand. My bill comes to $57.45......WTF??? I know that's not right but like the retarded consumer I've become I pay the bill without question. The check out guy bails down aisle 7 and I quickly go over my tab. I WAS CHARGED FULL PRICE ON EVERY SINGLE ITEM!!! I follow the retail retard and ask him to go over my receipt with me. After several minutes of this guy counting his fingers and taking his shoes off in order to "carry the 1" I realize I'm getting fucked hardcore pornstyle! He tells me "Oh, I know what's wrong here. All these sale prices don't start until tomorrow morning. I don't know what to tell you man, sorry."
I lose it...."I know what you're gonna tell me dude....you're gonna walk back to the register and tell me that you owe me $22.75 and then apologize for inconveniencing me." His retarded ass just blinks at me. FUCK!!! I call for his manager. The manager tells me that the sale prices don't start until tomorrow morning at 9am and that the sticker guy just put up the sale stickers early. (My brain's on fire now) I inform him that I shop here about 3 times a week and that will stop immediately and I will start shopping across the street at Albertson's from now on.
They gave me my $22.75, PLUS a $25 in-store credit.
Penny Pincher Deunan