I thought I'd explain a little more about why I have been gone. I'll probably take a break from here anyways; clear my head, you know? But I digress. I broke up with my girlfriend today. Or, if it really matters, she broke up with me; the "victory" thing matters little to me. I'm not necessarily mad, just kinda empty, and a bit resentful. We broke up because the strain of a long distance relationship was too stressful, and we wouldn't have seen each other for awhile. Now, I really could have cared less; I would have waited. She also felt that we weren't talking enough, which honestly confused me seeing as she specifically said she didn't like to talk to me over the phone. There were a lot of reasons and excuses, but after it all, I just got the feeling that she didn't want to try anymore. Now, I understand that alot of things were on her "plate", so-to-speak. But when you prioritize things, you would think that her 8 month boyfriend (today would have been our ninth month together; pretty sad, huh?) would have come out on top over a few football games and friends (friends whom she'd recently made this year at her new school). Now, I don't think I've been a particularly bad boyfriend; I've made a few mistakes here and there, but none that I feel have been detrimentally damaging. Now, I know some of you geezers are gonna scold me for this one, especially kykye, but a few months ago, I did tell her that I loved her. And I did, and part of me always will. That is not something I said lightly. Those of you who know me a little better know my standings on love, so when I said it, I meant it. She told me before this that others had "loved" her before, but I got the feeling that they hadn't been too serious about it. So maybe she didn't take mine as seriously? I'd feel like a fool if I was actually lumped in with those morons, but past experiences are hard to overcome. I just can't fathom why my importance (or apparent lack of), and most importantly my love for her, were so easily thrown away.
Just the ventings of a fool.......a fool in a toolbox.