The holiday that celebrates the one who pooped you out of her vagina because she had sex with your daddy. Holidays are fucking stupid.  I bought a pregnancy test from wallmart on mothers day, not for my mom mind you but for my potential baby's momma.

The baby that I keep pretending that I want, but in reality I just like pleasing her so that I can get laid. It just pisses me off that I have to do something seemingly extra nice for my mother because some asshole decided to give her a holiday.

I hope hope that all day you think about how you' were created because your mother had nasty dirty sex enough times to eventually concieve you.