And no, it's not because I got super-rich and really busy. It's because this place sucks.
   Ryan, I know you think you're very clever and witty. I felt the same way, when I was 11. But you are partially responsible for the demise of this blog section. Not responsible in the sense that you have any real power, or that anyone respects you- no, quite the opposite.
   It's like this: When we were kids, we used to go to a park near where we all lived, and we'd play football, or smoke crack, or shoot heroin. You know, the usual things kids do.
   One afternoon, while we were tossing the old Pigskin around, some of the Black kids from the other side of town came to the park and started throwing a can back and forth between one another. (They couldn't afford a ball of any kind.)
   Soon, they were encroaching upon our group of upstanding White citizens. We fought for our turf, and we won. We made the bad Black kids leave, because they didn't belong there.
   But before they left, we bought all of their crack and heroin, because we weren't racist and we wanted to make those Black kids feel like they had a shot in the business world when they grew up. If I remember correctly, CrackRockJack did his first deal that day.  
   Later in the afternoon, we started to smell something less than pleasant. Within minutes, the ground began to get wet with raw sewage that was quickly escaping from a broken main under the field. The football, all of our extraneous clothing, and the field were ruined by thousands of gallons of untreated shit.
   Think of Ebaumsworld as the field we played on. You, Ryan, are the shit, endlessly bubbling up from underground. Your stench cannot be contained, and you have contaminated the field to the point where no one wants to play there anymore.
   Congratulations. You, Neko, and the other living Coney Island Blowfish have rendered a perfectly good field nearly useless with your idiocy and stupidity.
   Don't worry, though- the shit tends to clear itself out, eventually. And we'll all be back to play.
   I have survived a lot worse than you in my life. You wouldn't last a day in my shoes.
   You are a coward and a pussy. I look forward to meeting you someday, and videotaping as I make you cry.
   You will never, ever, ever beat me at anything. You are my intellectual inferior, my physical slave, and my emotionally damaged puppet. Your blogs (or what you 'write' to pass for blogs) have proven that.
   I do feel sorry for you, Ryan. It must be difficult to live as you.
   Anyway, I feel good about MY life, and I'm gonna go live it.
   I won't be on here much. But remember, Ryan and Neko, and all the other Troll-Clowns- I always was, and always will be smarter, funnier, more attractive, and more powerful than you all.
   Have a Great Day!