Well the other night i was with my Jewish girlfriend and we were going out to eat and then to toys-r-us to walk around. To give you an idea of�what we look like.�I'll start out with myself. I am 18 years old, blue eyes brown hair, could use a Lil proactive, and my stomach is free falling over my jeans. My friend, Beatrice, is 25, a little on the plump side and she was once endorsed for a deodorant commercial ad.

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Well we got to this restaurant called Bingella, we waddle in and take our seat, they tried to give us booths but those are for sissy's. So while were at our extra large table waiting for service, I notice a man staring at me, so i tell Beatrice, and she gets pissed and walks over there. The man gets angry from whatever she told him and backhands her right in her eatery. She falls to the floor and goes into seizures and begins to extrude waste from her behind, which i couldn't let go to waste so i do what any good friend would do and i get down there and start to sip it up, so it doesn't go to waste.

Well by now, everyone is looking at us odd, so we get our things and go, me still having chocolate syrup dripping off my face. I start speeding home when almost there a police officer pulls me over, asks for registration, and walks back to his car. About 10 minutes later he returns and tells me to put my hands behind my back. He takes me to jail for eating ass in the middle of the restaurant and i got charged with it.

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So my names jessica and I am a level 2 ass eating offender.� Bye!