People change, circumstances change, life changes and sometimes relationships don't measure up like they used to. Lovers lose interest in one another. Appreciation wanes over time and as it does people begin to show who they truly are rather than the mask they wear to win you over. Sometimes, you really think you know somebody but what you know is simply a facade they display to get what they want... you or a wedding or a baby, whatever. Then after they have you, they become bored and decide they want something else. You might think your problems are money or sex or whatever but its really just that one or both of you just don't want to keep your promises anymore.
Promises have value. When you keep promises, people trust you when you give them. They lose value if you can't keep them. So you have to be careful about how easily you throw them around. I for one believe that trust is one of the most important things in life. It makes life so much more simple when people know they can trust you to keep your word.
But there's always going to be those people who really have you fooled. They say they believe in sticking together through good times and bad, through sickness and health, but when push comes to shove, they'll bail on you in a heartbeat.
There's no loyalty left. When people realize that, things will become much simpler. Sure big beautiful weddings are fun and the bride can live her dreams of being the most beautiful girl in her big white gown. But then what? A few hours later she realizes she has reached the big goal and now she's on the other side... with this dweeb following her everywhere. Why can't people just simply be together until they don't want to anymore? People naturally start to settle down when they get older and wiser and have less energy to jump from one relationship to the next. That's what people do anyway. They just have all the legal baggage they have to clear up after every marriage.
I sense that people think I've lost a little self-esteem. It's simply that I feel like my new beliefs about relationships and marriage make me seem like a bummer and nobody wants to date a bummer. Relationships are a lot more intriguing when you believe in fairy tales.
I won't be dumb enough to put myself in a bind financially to save a relationship anymore. While the idea of giving my all for love is romantic, its also dumb. I can't stick my neck out anymore even though I would like to get back in the game soon. Daddy's gotta' eat first when worse comes to worse.
I do believe in long-term relationships and investing in them and making them grow. I want somebody who gets me and allows me to just be me. I want somebody who would rather their relationship be a hobby than a goal. Finding that person is the trick.