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How to adjust your crotch

Ladies, let's be honest with each other right now. Everyone in the history of time adjust themselves daily. Everyone from males, females and hermaphrodites (Although I really don't know how they go about doing that. Nor do I want to know).

 

The problem earlier came from a few ladies doing it publicly. Personally, I have no problem with this but my counterparts do. I think it was the shock of seeing someone do it in a blatant manner that triggered their uproar.

 

Over the years men have developed several techniques to adjust in a public place and not be detected. These techniques are as followed. (I'm sorry for revealing these secrets but I'm only doing this for the sake of mankind or until this is not frowned upon. To preserve some secretes I will keep a few secrete).

 

  • The One Cheek slider- We stand up and maneuver in odd, somewhat rhythmic movements in order to adjust the crotch area with out using our hands. This also works for sweaty ass and clingy underwear.
  • Pocket pool- The adjustment is made in the persons pants with little movements as if a person were aligning a shot in a game of pool.
  • The sweater- Wearing a sweater or a jacket is a great way to adjust without gaining public suspicion. The technique is perfected with large pockets in the front. Also it provides cover for any other activities that might occur. (This doesn't reflect on everyone but there have been a number of reported cases over the years that have ruined the good name of this practice).
  • The Clark Kent- This move takes place when no one is looking and the adjustment is made publicly, similar to when Clark Kent turns into Superman.
  • The MacGyver- This move uses other items to make the adjustment. Items that are near bye are gathered and used to create the perfect device to adjust your crotch. Usually these things are long in length like a ruler, backscratcher, wire hanger, and etc.
  • The picker- This is usually used for sweaty ass and clingy underwear symptoms but it can also be used to make an adjustment. We pick at our underwear from the sides, usually from the pocket area, and keep moving it until the desirable level of comfort is achieved.

 

These techniques were developed and inscribed in our DNA. Just like it's written in a lion's code to tackle a gazelle, there is a code in each man that tells him how to adjust himself. These are instincts that have aided our fore fathers from going into a complete rage and just going to town on their crotch.

 

Hopefully everyone who had read this will take into consideration their actions and be more discrete for the sake of others.

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