I have learned several ways to get free beer over the years. I just thought I would share a few of them with the rest of the world.

While I was in the Army, stationed in Mannheim, Germany, I got to know every one that worked in the bar on the military base. So not only did I get in all the time without paying the cover charge, but, I also got a few free drinks from the bar tenders.

My tricks:

I went into the bar Ten minutes before they actually opened one time and the bar tender gave me a beer. He said I did not have to pay for it, because the registers were not even turned on yet (It only works if you know the bouncers and bar tenders well enough that they will let you in early).

Tell the bar tenders it is your birthday. Especially if you are just turning 21, the bar will often give you ONE free beer if you can prove it with your ID. Tell customers that it is your B-day and they will buy you a beer.

Tell customers and bar staff that you are in the Army and you just came back from Iraq. Everybody will buy you a beer then and you will not have to spend any money at all that night—trust me on that one!

Tell customers and bar tenders a few good jokes and just bull shit with them and they will sometimes buy you a few drinks.

I was in a bar one time and the bartender said to me and a friend sitting at the bar, “Hay, do you guys want a beer? It is paid for. Some guy paid for six beers and only drank four of them and left.” So I got another freebie.

I haven’t tried this one, so do it at your own risk:

Get a beer and save the cap. Drink the beer then fill the bottle up with warm water. Take it to the bar tender and say, “The other bar tender gave me this a minute ago and it is warm.”

The bar tender will take it and throw it away and give you another beer to replace it.

If there is a big sports event on TV, like the Super Bowl or Mike Tyson or something, and the TV messes up, you go fix it and everyone in the whole bar will buy you a drink or Two.

Ladies: Dress really sexy and act available. Believe me, a lot of guys are so dumb, they will buy you a few drinks if they think you are interested!

I saw a bum with a sign that said, “Why lie, I just need a beer.”

I don’t like bums very well and I don’t usually give them money, however, that guy was honest and did not bull shit every one like the rest of them do, so I thought about buying him a beer. I still didn’t, but I thought about it!

Stand on the street corner with a cup and tell people you are collecting money for the homeless, Red Cross, or whatever, they will never know that you are really collecting money for your own beer fund! However, you are an ass hole for doing this one!

Go to Germany and hit the bars on the economy (Off the military base), then at least make a valid attempt to speak German and the Germans will be impressed and buy you a beer.

Here is a suggestion: They get CNN over there and they know everything that goes on in the US, they hate Bush as much as most of us in the US do. Tell them you hate Bush, don’t talk about WWII and tell them what you love about Germany and they will probably buy you a few bottles of German beer, jagermeister, schnapps, etc and some seaur Kraut to go with it. LOL. JK.

A good thing to know how to say in the German bars:

Ich brauche noch ein Bier.

 Hay bar Ausschreibung, die hierher kommen, wenden Sie sich bitte, gib mir ein Bier verdammt Sie jetzt ficken hässliche Schlampe!

(I need another beer.

Hay bar tender, come here please, give me a damn beer now you fucking ugly slut!)

Second thought, don't say that last one!