Human Waste

So, today at work this customer came in and wanted to get measured for a bra.  Her son kept running around pushing his stroller and I lost sight of him at one point, which in retrospect was a bad thing, but I'm not his keeper.  So anyway, I'm walking over to the other side of the store to measure this broad, and I look down, and there's a puddle on the floor.  A yellow puddle.  With little drops leading to her son, who's hiding under one of the tables.  And his pants are soaked.  The little guy pissed himself.  Granted, he didn't look like he was older than 3, or maybe a small 4, but still, he just pees in the middle of the floor.  And I almost stepped in his yellow snow.... without the snow.  So me being one of the newbie's (I've only been working since June) was elected to clean up the puddle on the floor.

Oh boy, I can't tell you how much fun that was.  I just threw some paper towels down, picked them up with the mop and wet swiffered, but it was still gross.

While the woman was then trying bras on in the fitting room, I asked my manager if this kind of thing happens often, and she said yes, but it's not the worst that's happened before.  I just HAD to ask what was the worst thing.  Big mistake.

Apparantly about a month ago, when I was on vacation (thank God) a woman took some clothing into one of the fitting rooms to try on, and decided she was going to shit in the fitting room.  I know this may sound a bit like Dane Cook's "shit on the coats" routine, but I kid you not, some lady actually shat in the fitting room, on the bench.  The cherry was that she used one of our bras as toilet paper.  Seriously, lady, are you fucking insane?  We HAVE a bathroom.  To make matters even worse, she then proceeded to try on the clothing, and got shit on all of that.  There were little poo-stains on every piece of clothing/lingerie this woman tried on.

I'm so glad I was in Maine that day.

Uploaded 09/05/2008
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