I am an addict.

It is true, no I am not addicted to drugs or alcohol; although, I have been known to have more than "just a few" and I might of smoked a joint or two in my time. No, what I am addicted to is sexual stimulation, masturbation and pornography. Since I was young I have always been overly infatuated with sex, I have fantasized about it regularly and when I learned that it was easily searchable threw the web I found myself constantly viewing it. When I was 13 I got involved in chat rooms and one day I began talking with a girl my age. Before the jokes come pouring in, I am 100% sure she was in fact a she, not that it really matters. Anyway, I had gained control of myself, for three months I was masturbation free and then, she came into my life. It wasn't sexual at first but of course it became sexual; eventually, I called it off and met a girl at church. We hit it off and by this time I was 15 and we began having sex. We had sex and this is just about all we did, I was addicted to it much like I was with the previous girl I had met online. I did eventually get tired of only having sex and wanted more, she wanted more as well and ended up breaking up with me after close to two years of being together, it felt like a lot back then. So hear I am 23 and ok yeah I have been on a few dates here and there but I haven't been in a serious relationship since I was 17. The point is I never stopped looking at the porn and the masturbation has become more than just a habit I have found my self losing sleep and I have lost my ability to concentrate. I feel as though I have lost touch with the world and that I am capable of so much more. I have realized that I am indeed addicted to the release. I am fully aware that many will view this and laugh, you will question as to why I might choose to post this here. Truth is I don't care what you think; I am ready for a change.
Uploaded 10/23/2011
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Tags: addiction