Firstly, is anyone else having issues with messaging? I've been sending messages to several people (I'm looking at you, Savcam, Ellimem, Whynot, and Identity), but get the feeling that they are not being sent. This would be no suprise, as EBW always gives me a hard time. Hell, maybe I'm just unpopular...

That brings me to my right hand: I can't feel it. It functions fine, but is devoid of feeling. This has been going on for two days with no reasonable explanation. The only cool thing about this is effortless "strangers". But seriously, what's the deal?

Hey, anyone want a stranger?

Also, you wanna hear something disgusting? You do?! Awesome... So my grandfather is in the hospital and they're poking and stroking him with a bunch of stuff and junk. Here's the sick part: doctors removed 1 2/3 liters of fluid from each of his lungs. Gross! That, kids, is why you don't smoke. Also, on the subject of grossness, when I visited, he was totally laying in bed with his balls hanging out. I seriously puked in my mouth a little.

As lame and angry as he is, he did say something amazingly awesome when I was there the first time. This is roughly the exchange between him and a hot nurse:

Him: You know what's the most useless thing on a woman like you?

Hot Nurse With Sweet Tits (expecting to be offended): What?!

Him: An old man like me.

Okay, so you didn't laugh, you bastard. Trust me, it was classic when witnessed.

In other news, I'm jumping on the bandwagon and trying to stop smoking. We'll see how that goes. The thing about smoking is that I enjoy it; I never smoked for any other reason. If I had the money for Black Tar Heroin, I'd probably do that too.

Oh, so I got a new phone. It was like $300 ($105 after rebate) and does a bunch of stuff I couldn't care less about. There's so many features, I'd be suprised if it doesn't do your taxes and analyze stool samples. If it's not broken in three months, I'll be surprised. I am the destroyer of phones!

Lastly, I talked to my "boss" and might be a Tank Commander as early as December. Sweet! Take that, everyone else in the world!

Seriously lastly, I made some Fetuccini Alfredo and it is the bee's knees.

That is the last 72 hours of my life encapsulated in several lame, rambling paragraphs. I know it doesn't matter to you, but I did it because I felt like it and I could; this is America an it is my right. Should you disagree, you are a godless, Communist bastard and I will kill you. Kill you with Fist-Fuck!

WOLVERINES!

*ETA*: If your name is Zeke Peterson and you are missing a red hat with a "M" on it, it is in my yard, beneath my mailbox. Act fast because I saw a squirrel stuffing something in it. God knows what he put in there. Also, who writes their name in their hat? Second graders. Further, who names their kid "Zeke"?!