After all...if I was hung like this

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/1066093/

I'd be a pissed off gung ho Marine wanting to stab things with an eleven inch bayonet, too.

I even found a song to go with it:

I've Only Got A Three Inch Tool by Bob Rivers

Sung to the Lyrics of I Only Want To Be With You by Hootie and the Blowfish.

Little me
My nuts are small as pearls
You like to laugh at me
‘Cause I’m hung just like a squirrel
Sometimes it bugs me
I’m not a bigger guy
When I was a baby
It was exactly the same size

But there’s nothin’ I can do
‘Cause I only got a three inch tool

Come home with me
Have a cocktail at my place
I gotta tell you
Before we get past second base
In my pants
Ain’t no big schwing
But if you can find him
He’s a friendly little thing

But there’s nothin’ I can do
I only got a three-inch tool
When I’m comin’ out of the pool
I only got a one-inch tool

Sometimes I wonder
If it’ll ever extend
I get embarrassed
When I’m hangin’ with my friends
They like to razz me
I don’t know why
They get me a Happy Meal
And Super Size my fry

And there’s nothin’ I can do
I only got a three-inch tool
And when I’m coming out of the pool
I only got a one-inch tool
Yeah it’s small but it’s real cool
I’m happy with a three-inch tool
I only got a three-inch tool

Just kidding, bro. I know you can take a joke, otherwise I would have told them the truth that you're only two-and-a-half inches! Hope you're having a good day, man!